England's odd little secret
by A Bleach-Drinking Hetalian
Summary: England just seems a little too un-manly. Could there be something else going on? Or could it have been that way all along... Gen-Flip. Fem-England x America. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A pointless title

**ANOTHER GEN-FLIP! **

**But this one's along the actual story~~ **

**I'll continue working on my other story, but this one is eating at my brain, Demanding to be freed!**

**Please enjoy! And don't tell me if you don't enjoy it. That's your problem.**

**This and the first chapter are both the technical beginning. I flipped a coin to choose who went first.**

* * *

(France's's pov)

"I'm tireda that stoopid American git..." said a very drunk England. He was slurring over his glass of rum.

His friend, a Frenchman, was listening with interest. But not in the story.~ "Ah, _mon cheri._ You really need to learn to forgive and forget." He scooched a little closer to his friend, partially drunk off the wine he himself had been drinking.

"Nevar!" said England, taking in all of the contents in his glass in one long chug. "That ungrateful bastard needs to stop butchering *hic* my language!" He turned to look at France, green eyes filled with what France thought was envy. "You're lucky Canada's so well behaved..."

"I was born under a lucky star, what can I say?~" said the pervert, pouring himself another glass of wine.

He looked at the very confused bartender, "Anoverr glash, if you please!" he said drunkly.

"Sir, I don't think you should have anything else to drink." the bartender prepared for the hurricane that came every time he said this.

"IF I'D 'AVE WANTED YOUR BLOODY OPINION, I WOULD HAVE DAMN WELL ASKED FOR IT!" England started yelling, drunk beyond words.

"I think it's time we left,_ mon cheri._" he then asked the bartender. "Check please." He turned back to England after he payed the bill.

"I don wanna go home..." said the Britain, wobbling down the path. France sighed, and then took hold of his hand.

"Then come to my home." he said, living in the moment. The Briton, no matter how drunk would always do the following things in this order every time at the slightest suggestion of coming home with France:

1) Refuse.

2) Slap France in the face.

3) Wobble home.

4) Kick him in his privates when France accidentally revealed he was following him.

'Ahh~, good times..' thought France. There was a tug on the end of his hand.

"Lemme go, you french git..." the Englishman was getting tired. His pulls were getting weaker.

So France just tugged him along happily. He began telling him about his day to tire the man more, adding in the occasional French word for confusion. "Well, I went to the épicier to get ingredients for déjeuner, and there are still leftovers. Would you like some?" he asked the man, who he was now dragging practically.

"Nu... I wanna go home!" he tried to turn again, but was too tired.

"Would l'Angleterre like to ride on my back?" he turned to the Briton.

"NO!" and he started walking towards France's house unknowingly.

"Suit yourself~~" said the Blonde as they reached his house.

England was the only European nation France still hadn't bedded to date. It was frustrating, really. He, the nation of love. It was fun, though, most of the time, mainly because l'Angleterre was quite adorable for a man. Even if he ended up hurt, he would have this man.

No, France was not gay. He was just... full of love. And he wanted to share it with every living being. (A.K.A. Anything that moves.)

England realized where they were. "No! I musht go home..." he turned but was swept off his feet by France.

"You're so light, _mon cheri._ What is your secret, hm?" he locked his door. "I think I know it~"

England stared at him with wide eyes. "How did you find out?" he said fearfully.

France looked at the other man with confusion. "I was only joking... but you have a secret of such caliber? I had no idea..." he led the man to his bedroom, but he was passing out nearly.

~W~T~F~

(England's Pov)

It was morning.

And England woke with a throbbing headache.

He looked around, and saw a slightly familiar room.

Wait, thought England.

This is... France's house?

Right?

Oh god.

Oh fuck no.

He managed to keep his secret for centuries. CENTURIES! Does anyone know how hard it is to do that? Then he gets drunk. And in one night ,ONE NIGHT!, his cover is blown.

Well, time to face the music.

He took one of France's big white tee shirts and put it on. (of course he had underwear!)

France was sitting on the table with his head down.

He said "What the hell." at random.

"So you finally found out?" said England, startling France. He looked up.

"_L'ANGLETERRE ! ! VOUS ÊTES UN FEMME?_" shouted the Frenchman. (England! You are a woman?)

She cringed. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

**Don't worry, I'm not abandoning my other story. Storyline? I just felt like starting another story while I'm writing chapter 13 of Another Gakuen Hetalia.**

**Oh yeah! Before I forget to say, this story will be with my favorite heterosexual couples.**

**Not much else to say...**

**Anyway, tell me if you like this story via review.**

**Any couple suggestions review.**

**

* * *

**

**::EDIT::**

**So I've heard there are other secret fem stories.**  
**Not that I mind people STEALING my idea, and believe it to be so origional that people did so.**  
**Know, however, that mine was the very first,**  
** When I wrote it, I wasn't very good, mind you...**  
**But still. If you are going to claim, "I've seen a story with so and so as a secret fem" please give me the link.**  
**Because that, people, would help me expand my horizons, and not be completely pissed off at a copycat.**


	2. In which America whines to Canada

A second pointless title

**My second story!**

**Please at least read the second chapter if you don't like this one.**

**After that, I don't care if you abandon it. ( _ _)**

* * *

America was coming home from his last visit to Europe. He decided he was going to visit Canada, his brother.

"Matttttt! I want pancakes!" wined America as he barged into his brother's home.

A voice practically whispered back "Ok Alfred. I'll be a minute, eh." He was coming out of his room, hugging his pillow. His bear walked past him into the kitchen.

He was mixing the batter, and America started telling him about his 'troubles' with England.

"... and he's such a jerk! He acts like he has a stick up his ass all the time. He needs to get a life. And- ohh! Are the pancakes done?"

They were, in fact, done by the time he was halfway through his rambling. But he was still talking, and eating at the same time.

"You're lucky that you had France instead of England" said the miffed America. "At least France could cook!"

"Papa was the one that taught me how to cook. And I'd like to say that England was the one who taught you how to cook. We're all our own people and maybe-" the whispers were cut off by America's phone.

"Hold on a second Matt, I better answer this." America rudely interrupted his brother, as was the American way, and fiddled with the I-Touch phone

"What'd ya want, France? And Canada says hi." asked the American good-naturedly. He had put the device on speaker-phone, so Canada could hear the conversation.

"_L'Amérique_!" said the Frenchman hurriedly. "I know you just left us, but I need you to come bac-"

And he was interrupted by another person. "YOU ARSE! WE'LL SEE THEM IN A MONTH AT THE BLOODY G8 MEETING! THEY DON'T NEED TO COME HERE!" there were a few crashes and then a quick yet polite "_au revoir" _from France, and then he hung up.

"Ahahahahaha! That was strange!" he pulled out a hamburger and ate it, then re-started on eating his pancakes.

Canada sighed. This was going to be a strange year...

* * *

**I'm so sorry this story is bad. I tried. Plus it's kinda to help ease my writers block for Another Gakuen Hetalia. (The next will be up by Thursday.) I'm also sorry that this one is short, but it's a builder chapter. Pac-man rules!**

**11:09 pm it is now. I'm tired...**

**If you would like to review, please press the green review button after the beep.**

**BEEP!  


* * *

::Edit::**

**I know limey is to the English, not from them. So I changed it~  
**


	3. In which England rants of the past

A third pointless title.

**I'm losing sleep because of this.**

**Enjoy!**

**Hey, aren't the G8 meetings the one's with all of the nations gathered?**

**If not, it's the allies and axis... but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.**

* * *

(England's pov)

France stood up, now completely awake.

_"POURQUOI LA BAISE ÊTES-VOUS UNE FEMME ? ?" _shouted France to England.

(WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU A WOMAN?)

He looked genuinely surprised. She was disserted by that.

She rubbed her fingers through the back of her short hair. "Well, there's a very interesting story behind that-"

He stared at her. "And?"

No response in words... but she started sniffling, as if she were about to cry.

He sighed, then he hugged England in an empathetic manner. "Tell onii-chan the entire story, Arthur."

HE was using her human name. He was sincerely worried... of stupefied. Either way, she was in deep, deep trouble.

She might as well start at the beginning.

~The beginning~

_Europa was the mother of all European nations. There was a mother for Asia too, but our story today is focused on Europe._

"How do you know that?" asked France.

"I just do!" said England "Where was I? Ok, so:"

_She was the creator of all of the successful and extinct nations that are and have been to date. When we were young, she would always play with us._

"How would you remember something like that?" France interrupted again.

She glared at him. "Because I'm British. Now don't you dare interrupt again."

"But that doesn't answer my question..." wined France.

He shut it when she glared.

_Her games and love helped our population growth and economies, and she was happy seeing her little ones thrive. But they took up her energy, and as people began to separate into certain areas, they gradually made her fade, weakness apparent. Her children were very young, and thriving livelihoods were there's for the taking. She was leaving little things for Greece and Egypt to find in the future, and teaching different countries their commerce._

_She and I had been planning something for a while. It started when she thought it seemed that certain places were gaining more power than other places. She came to me, saying out of the blue, "My daughter, I need you to do something for me." _

_I replied, "Of course Europa. What would that be?"_

_And she said weakly, "Please. Don't become weak. Weakness will make you vulnerable to all." she grabbed England gently by the shoulders, her shawl falling off of her own. "I have made a plan. I looked within your future, and this plan will make it much better in the long run."_

_I lived in the naive, trusting world of a child then. I did not expect what she had coming. "Yes." I replied._

_"I need you to be a man." said Europa with complete seriousness. England began giggling._

_"That's funny! Now, what's the real thing you want me to do?" said England, acting serious. But then she saw the look on Europa's face, finally realizing full well that she wasn't joking._

_"I need you to agree to this. Your land will be claimed otherwise." she said in her knowing way._

_"Yes Europa..." I said to her._

_After that, we began to prepare for the event._

_"You can stay a woman" said Europa, before she put the final preparations in check, "But you need to protect this secret. Beware of France, for you two will have a long history."_

_And so she tampered with the memories of all of her children, using the last of her strength to do so. _

_She disappeared the next day.. _

_And by a week later, she was just a fond memory. _

_By a year later, she was forgotten by all but a few._

_And now, I'm the only one who remembers that she even existed._

She finished her story, looking at France to see what his reaction was.

He was holding his cell phone, and speaking into it hurriedly.

"_L'Amérique_!" said the Frenchman. "I know you just left us, but I need you to come bac-"

England sprang into action. "YOU ARSE! WE'LL SEE THEM IN A MONTH AT THE BLOODY G8 MEETING! THEY DON'T NEED TO COME HERE!" she threw the cup he had been holding, "_au revoir" _said France politely as he hung up.

"Ah~ But you forget. The G8 meeting is in a week." said the Frenchman.

"I don't give a damn about technicalities!" shouted an angry England. She pouted for a minute.

But then she remembered that she did stay the night.

And woke in France's bed.

He looked at her, seeing the worry that was growing on her face. "Do not worry, as soon as I saw you were a female, I was too... surprised? Yes, then I slept on the couch."

"Well thanks for defending my honor, I guess..." she said, guessing even France could be a gentleman sometimes.

France sighed._ "Comment pourrais j'avoir été dupé tellement facilement…" _(How could I have been fooled all of this time...)

"Because you, frog, are an idiot." said England, venom in her voice.

"Now, come sit on onii-chan's lap for comforting!" he was sitting down.

"I DON'T NEED ANY BLOODY COMFORTING!" and she started storming off.

"Wait! Don't leave yet! I have one more thing to ask!" France said as he followed England.

"Fine! What is it?" said England.

"Why are you so flat? Is it a part of your being a male, or maybe-" France stopped abruptly, because England punched him in the gut.

She went upstairs, and put her male clothes back on.

France followed her around when she was walking through his house. "England? Could we please talk about this over dinner? I'll will go to eat anything you want if you come!"

She sighed. "I will come, and answer your questions."

France smiled jumping around. "Yay!~ How about we-"

"BUT" interrupted the Briton. "It IS NOT a date. And I will only go if you agree not to tell ANYBODY." she poked him in the chest at each firmly spoken word.

"I'll pick you up after the meeting~~"

She opened the door and left, scowling.

* * *

**I was actually going to quit the story, but now I see that people are reading it. **

**I'm sorry it stinks... T _T I tried...**

**But this is only the second story I've ever written. **

**Yes, the ooc for all of Europe (A.K.A. Europa) was needed for the stories lift off! She probably won't come up again. I don't know yet.**

**-whoosh-**

**They didn't have anything happen between them, if you haven't realized that yet.**

**So if you want me to keep writing, I need reviews for my self-confidence! Remember: The more reviews I get, the faster I will update my stories.**

**\( ' w')/**

**Thank you for reading!**


	4. In which America is scared by hockey

**Canadian's are intense when it comes to hockey....**

**AGHHH!! THE FLASHBACKS!!! **

**I changed LIMEY to ARSE. I need help with my British cuss words/insults!! Any help would be loved!!**

* * *

Alfred was still at his brothers, but now they were watching hockey. Alfred was scared by his brother when it came to hockey...

"FUCK!" Canada said, as the other team managed to get the puck through one of his goalies. "THAT WAS A FOUL!! HOW DARE THEY COUNT IT!!" America cringed. Canada turned to his brother, a look of evil on his face. "You saw that foul, didn't you?"

America shook his head wildly up and down. "Of course Mattie! Heh heh heh..." he stood up and started to back away slowly.

The Canadian's devil look returned with a vengeance.. "Why, where are you going, Alfred? You promised to watch hockey with me, eh...."

Alfred sat back down. He needed to get out, FAST!!!

"_I can't decide whether you should live or die._" America looked at his vibrating pocket.

SALVATION!!! "_Oh you'll probably go to heaven, please don't hang your head and cry,_" the phone continued.

"Hey Mattie, I need to get this." said America. 'AND RUN WHILE I CAN!!' he thought.

"_No wonder why,-"_ "Hello! Me speaking. Who are you and wadya want?" America said into the phone.

"Ah, _L'Amérique_. You need to answer your phone properly." a French accented voice said on the other line.

"What are you, my mom?" America retorted.

"Non, I'm not..." said France.

This confused America. "What?" he said intelligently.

France sighed. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it_ L'Amérique. _More importantly, what exactly do you think of _L'Angleterre_? "

A: "Who's that?"

F: ".....England."

A: "Yes, I know him."

F: "That's not what I'm asking you."

A: "What, then?"

F: "What do you think of England, you American idiot!!"

A: "I resent that. And he's a nice guy. What about him?"

F: "No, what do you THINK about dear_ L'Angleterre_? "

A: "I don't think I catch your drift."

Canada was yelling at his hockey game again.

F: "What was that?"

A: "Nothing. Just Mattie and hockey in the same area."

F: "....Is his team losing?"

Another holler, followed by a stream of cuss words.

A: "Yeah... I think."

France shivered at the very thought.

F: "Escape while you can. GO!! We'll continue this later."

-Click-

Alfred ran for it.

"I'll see you at the meeting!!" he yelled back to the house after escaping with only his coat.

"THE GAMES NOT OVER!! DONCHA KNOW YOU CAN'T LEAVE!!" followed by obstinacies galore as his team was burned even worse.

Alfred ran all the way home, and only stopped twice for a McDonald's break.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next is the meeting, with more of France's implications and Alfred's stupidity. The one after that will have more of England's girlyness. **

**I really doubt it, but does anyone want to see England go to the restaurant with France wearing a dress? **

**Fem-England + Dress + France = ?**

**I'm currently addicted to the song "I Can't Decide" by the Scissor sisters. For your entertainment, here's a MAD with the song. Just take out the spaces and parentheses. I love this MAD....**

**http://www (.) youtube (.) com (/) watch?v=Gfl-CfEQcew**

**As for this story and Another Gakuen Hetalia, I have them both all planned out in my head. Beginning to end. I just don't have any time whatsoever to write. During spring break I'll try and write them.**

**I'll try to have two more chapters of this out by the weekend, not including this one. And one long chapter for Another Gakuen Hetalia. Hint: Someone awesome is going to join Mattie, Britta, and Alfred for dinner. (That should give it away....)**

**( * q*)-b**

**Thank you for reading, and if you have any ideas or comments, then please review.**


	5. In which there is a G8 meeting

**This meeting just holds the 8. Germany, Russia, Italy, Japan, America, England, France, and China.**

**Canada was there too, but he was ignored. In case you're wondering where Kumajiro was last chapter, he was hiding. x3**

* * *

Hotel. Check!

My things have not been lost in the luggage chute. Check!

Clothes hiding womanhood. Check...

England walked towards the meeting. Why did it have to be held in the frog's country....

She looked up at the skyline. How could that Frenchie have such a beautiful place. Compared to her drab lands, she couldn't believe what that pervert created all of this.

She must be nearly there by now if the given address was correct....

"IGGYY!!" heard England before she was taken in a running tackle-hug.

"Oof!" she said as all of her breath was squeezed out of her. He's close... Too close!!

England began blushing, "Let go of me git!!" she tried to squirm out of his grip.

He let go quickly. "You haven't visited in aggggeeeesssss..." wined America.

She pointed at the building. "You're making me late, twat!" God she hoped he didn't notice her blushing.

America shrugged. "We can walk and talk if that'll make things easier for you."

England sighed. "Fine." and they began heading for the meeting room.

America pulled out a hamburger. "You know, you should really try these."

"Pfft. Why, so I can become insanely obese like your people?" retorted England cockily.

"But of course!" said America happily. But then he seemed to realize what England said. "Wait. Hey!!"

They reached the meeting room. She turned. "Well, that was a nice chat. Good day to you." She walked in and sat down. America sat nearly across the room.

France spotted England, and excused himself from talking to Italy."_L'Angleterre_! You came! And what do you think of my fair city, hm?" he said, sitting next to England.

"Well-" England began.

"LETS START THE MEETING ALREADY!!" Germany shouted over the hubbub.

France flashed England a perverted grin. "We'll continue this later_ L'Angleterre_."

France began the meeting with issues that would concern all. After his speech, he everyone in the room took turns.

When it was America's turn, he stated: "I think we should build a giant Mecca hero robot that puts a barrier between us and the sun, that is covered in solar panels, and fueled by Ramen!!"

Japan lit up at this. "I agree!" he said as he stood.

"You shouldn't agree with such stupid things, Japan." Germany said.

Oh Bloody Hell. England stood. "That's a horrible idea! Do you know how much money it would take to make that?"

"I can print as much money as I need." America said smugly in response.

Germany looked at America. "I would not recommend that. " America looked at the interruption. "Unless you want your economy to be almost beyond repair."

America began to look sheepish. "Oh, ok.." " he said disappointedly. Then he sat down and pulled out a drink.

It was England's turn, so she stood. "Recently,"

*slurp*

"my people have"

*slurp*

"been slightly miffed at the way"

*slurp*

"that"

*SLUUUURRPPP*

"WOULD YOU QUIT THAT ALREADY, AMERICA!!" said England, accidentally raising her voice one octave. (Note: Her voice became slightly girlyer.)

Japan stiffened when he heard her voice do this. 'Oh, not again...' he thought, flashbacks making him blush.

France raised an eyebrow at this. 'So she can sound like a woman too', he thought, certain ideas coming to mind.

"Sheesh! Don't get your panties in a bunch, England." said America, throwing away his cup. (Basketball style.)

Facepalm.

This meeting needs to end soon... thought England as she steamed over.

"Where was I? Okay, so..."

It was over!! England stretched her weary legs.

"Let us leave now, England." said France.

"What the-" she said, then she remembered that she was going to a restaurant. "Okay then."

"I'm heading out for the day." England said to no one in particular, gathering her things and leaving.

" Ayez une belle nuit et un merveilleux demain!!" said France happily. He winked at America when he looked over, then left. (Have a beautiful day and a wonderful tomorrow!)

"_ L'Angleterre,_ I have an idea concerning dinner." France said when he caught up to England. "Could you... well no, I couldn't ask that."

"And what would it be?" said England, annoyed.

"Sure?"

"Yes already!!"

"Could you please wear a dress?"

* * *

**Do you guys wanna see what happened between Fem-England and Japan? She's been with a few countries... I might be able to write some fluff on it if enough people want it. **

**I REFUSE TO WRITE ANY SCENE MORE INTIMATE THAN A KISS!! OR A GROPE!! The most perverted thing I might do is imply that something happened. Hey, I'm only 14.... that stuff's embarrassing to read, never mind actually writing it. **

**' /////// '**

**I'm sorry if this disappoints my fans. (I blush just thinking about it....) **

**I love looking at all of the different places my readers come from: (In order of most frequent readers of this story) UK, US, Philippines, Canada, Poland, Sweden, Singapore, Australia, Malaysia, Finland, Germany, Brazil, France, Indonesia, Chile, Norway, New Zealand, Argentina, Mexico, Peru, Thailand, Belgium, China, Denmark, Taiwan, Uruguay, Slovenia, Greece, Spain, Russian Federation, Croatia, Czech Revar, Netherlands, Estonia, Costa Rica, and Japan.**

**YES!! A DRESS!! -evil laugh-**

**Guys!! I need more British cuss words please! Otherwise all that will be there is my limited vocabulary....**

**The next chapter will be out later today!!**

**( ^ -^)/**

**I'm on a roll~~**

**Review?**


	6. In which France gets a dress for England

**Sorry for le wait!**

**Enjoy!**

**I'd think England was one who cussed in the face of adversity. **

* * *

(France's pov)

A French woman stood before England, scrutinizing her as she blushed. She turned to France. "_Francis, vous ne me donnez pas beaucoup au travail avec._" (Francis, you are not giving me much to work with.)

He grasped the woman's hand and pulled her close. "_Mais coup manqué, n'êtes-vous pas un maître aux restaurations? Ne pouvez-vous pas faire à cette fille confuse un femme_ ?" (But miss, are you not a master at makeovers? Can you not make this confused girl a woman?)

The woman shook her head and tutted. "_Je ne m'ai jamais dit ne pourrais pas faire ainsi, mais vraiment maintenant._" She pointed to the UK. "_Pouvez-vous honnêtement me dire ce qui est un femme_ ?" (Never did I say that I could not do so, but really now. Can you honestly tell me that that is a woman?) She herself was blushing. The UFOAK**(1)** were all severely hurt by the fact that England was a woman, but they wished to be supportive. (AND SHE WAS A MEMBER!)

(But how they found out? No one knows....)

France smiled inwardly. "Bien_, si vous ne pouvez pas le faire, puis nous partira_." he turned. "Come, Arthur. It seems that she cannot help us." He pretended to walk away. (Well, if you cannot do it, then we shall leave.)

3...

2..

1.

"_Je la trouverai une robe, et fais son ressembler à un femme. Mais il vous coûtera deux fois autant que la normale, en raison du défi_." (I will find her a dress, and make her look like a woman. But it will cost you twice as much as normal, because of the challenge.) she grabbed England, and set off to work.

_'Mais j'ai pensé que vous avez aimé des défis_ ?' (But I thought you liked challenges.) He thought to himself.

Ah well. Double her usual price was still rather cheap for a designer of her caliber. And it was odd that England stayed quiet this entire time.

France was just surprised that England even agreed to wearing a dress.

He had expected at least a little protesting. Or embarrassment. Or at least a good argument that he would have won. But no, she just said that she's "tired of the charade that has gone on for far too long." He wasn't telling anyone.

No, he was keeping this particular secret all to himself.

Hell, the most surprising thing was still that she was a girl.

Nothing to do now but wait, though..

(time passes...)

"I'm not wearing that!! No way in fucking hell!"

She ran out of the dressing room in an undershirt and shorts. She stomped over to France and showed him what he concluded was a dress. It had skinny straps hanging off the top, and was black. "That wanker tried to make me wear this.. this... tiny cloth!! It barely covers my arse!! Why do people in your country wear things like this?"

The designer came out of the room. She spoke English with a heavy French accent. "Missus Arthur! I do not think zat you want to look as you are in front of heem."

At this, England remembered that she was only wearing underclothes. She threw the dress in his face. "BLOODY PERVERT!!" and stormed off. The designer took the dress back wordlessly, and then headed back to the room.

(About 5 minutes later)

France was nearly asleep from waiting, but yelling jolted him awake.

"He requested zat I at least show him what joo look like een it!!"

"WHAT?!? THAT PEDO??" Stomping ensued. Then England came out in a maid dress, heels, and she was wearing hair extensions that matched her own perfectly.

France's nose bled involuntarily, with such force that he was sent flying backwards.

England started blushing. "Bloody fucking frog..."

"It looks wonderful~" he dabbed at his nose with a handkerchief. "Are you coming in th-"

He was cut off by a punch to the gut.

He fell, tears streaming. 'ouch.... Has she always been this tempermental?' thought Francis.

(A good hour later...)

The designer came out. She looked fairly tired. "_Je l'ai jugée dans des 70 robes_." (I have tried her in 70 dresses.)

France's mouth gaped. "_Que beaucoup? Et les résultats?"_ (That many? And the results?)

"_Elle était trop plate pour trente-cinq des robes. Elle était trop maigre pour quinze. Elle était à embarrassed par dix. Et elle a été révoltée par neuf. Je pourrais trouver seulement un qu'elle a accepté._"(She was too flat for thirty-five of the dresses. She was too skinny for fifteen. She was to embarrassed by ten. And she was revolted by nine. I could find only one that she accepted.)

"_Est-ce que je peux voir les fruits de votre travail?"_ (May I see the fruits of your labor?) France was nearly shaking with excitement.

'Arthur in a dress....' France began drooling at the thought.

"Missus Arthur! Zhoo may come out now!" called the designer to England.

England peeked around the corner. 'So she kept the extensions~' he thought happily.

Then she came around the corner fully. It was a pixie dress, but with a few minor changes and British flag print on it. It nearly went down nearly to her knees, but still showed off her legs. Her shoulders were bare, revealing white skin. She was wearing white ankle boots with the dress. But it did make her look younger than normal. And far shorter...

But it showed off how skinny she was! She was wearing no makeup, save some blush that had been applied accordingly.

"Arthur~" cooed France, "You look darling! May I be so bold as to express my feelings with a kiss?~"

She held up a fist and stared at him with emerald eyes. "I'll kick your bloody arse if you even attempt it."

France turned to the designer. _"__Elle semble belle, si je peux dire ainsi moi-même. Vous avez les doigts magiques._" (She looks beautiful, if I may say so myself. You have magic fingers.) "May we leave now? I swear to pay you later. Our reservation is in only a short amount of time, and it is a great distance away."

She sighed. "_Congé. Mais…_ " A glint appeared in her eye. "_Rappelez-vous de s'amuser, Francis."_ Then she smirked, and walked away. (Leave. But... remember to enjoy yourself, Francis.)

England was blushing, but she also looked embarrassed. "Well? Are we leaving now?"

"But of course, madame." he held out his arm, and she took it slowly.

"Tonight will be fun, I promise~!" France said tesinglly, and she let go.

She smacked him on the head. "I'm going to the car!!" He could still see her blushing as she retreated.

* * *

**(1)UFOAK = United Fangirls Of Arthur Kirkland**

**(I hope you don't mind me using that, Lunar. I'll change it if you do.)**

**Her dress looks kinda like this (insert earlier description): **

**images(dot)buycostumes(dot)com(slash)mgen(slash)merchandiser(slash)38961(dot)jpg**

**I can picture it better in my head... And the lady doesn't look like fem-England. At all.**

**( ^_ ^')**

**Fan art is welcome at any time! Any contributions would be loved!**

**The designer knows France as a person, and I would think that he revealed his secret of being a nation to her. Via the fact that she's very famous and designeristic. And stuff.**

**Me: I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CLOTHES!! -sits in a corner-**

**France: -pats head- It's ok. America? Time for advertisement.**

**America: Review! Or else the author's writes block will return! -eats burger- **

**Me: And I use a French translator, so I'm sorry if anything's wrong.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**\(- _ -|||)**

**(I have a cold...)**

**Updates will start tonight! Or anytime frequently within the next week, for SPRING BREAK HAS ARRIVED!**


	7. In which France and England have dinner

**US X UK FOREVER! **

**BUHUWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!! -types quickly, hyped up on jellybeans-**

* * *

(England's pov)

England decided to ask something after France about ten minutes of driving, "Hey France?"

He kept his eyes on the road "Hmm?"

"Where are we going?" she asked, embarrassed that she had to ask at all.

"You told me to take you to one of my fine city's best restaurants, _non_?" he opened the glove compartment and began digging around in it. "Here it is! Well, Paris herself told me to take you here."

She took the pamphlet and read it.

{RESTAURANT DU PALAIS-ROYAL

"There can hardly be a more romantic setting for dinner in Paris than the Restaurant du Palais-Royal, looking onto the serene symmetrical gardens across from the Louvre. You can't help but feel privileged to be here—especially if you nab a prized seat on the summer terrace. In winter, the jewel-toned interior makes an equally stylish setting for an intimate meal. The contemporary yet simply prepared French food lives up to the surroundings: among the specialties are risotto, such as a glamorous squid-ink version with lobster (the menu changes seasonally); an elegant take on steak-frites favored by the businessmen at lunchtime; some standout fish dishes; and millefeuille with seasonal fillings for dessert (chestnut in winter, strawberries in summer). •110 Galerie Valois, 1st. Tel: (1) 40 20 00 27. Closed Sun. Average €50."}

"Wh-" she began, but was cut off.

"And we're here~" he got out of the car, and refused to answer any questions before they were inside, ordered, and sitting down.

~(At that point:)~

"Too bad she didn't do anything about your eyebrows, Arthur." he looked at the menu after he shooed the waiter away.

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!!!" yelled England, her voice again reaching a higher octave than normal.

"Now, what would you like to know?" he looked straight into her eyes.

"Why are you doing all of this for me?" she asked, then blushed.

"What exactly am I doing?" he responded, the hint of a smile on his lips.

She looked at him, annoyed. "I mean, the dress and dinner. Why?" she pouted a little at this.

"Well now, I thought you didn't want to go to dinner." his smile trying to hide behind a somber expression.

"But I'm here, aren't I?" she was getting irritated. France's grin only got wider.

"Well, I am a girl.." said England. "And I'm positively sure you're a guy." she shuddered. Not the best memories... Or mental images...

The waiter returned asking for their order.

"What?" she asked. The man seemed startled. Then he turned to France and said something.

He laughed it off, then turned to England. "He wishes to know what you want to have." Oh. "I'll just have what you're getting." England said, annoyed by the interruption.

He took it in stride, and replied, "Nous voudrions que deux de votre fondant braisé de carotte de joue de boeuf pour manger, et votre vin de Pommery Cuvee Louise 1998 boivent."

"Well, that was rude." England said, still slightly annoyed.

France sighed. "Since you're a girl, could you possibly put your real voice on?"

England was too surprised to say anything but "What?"

"The waiter thinks that you're a trannie. " He said, looking at his nails. "They don't allow those here. I told them that you have a sore throat." England was stunned. "Could you please try to sound like a woman?" he looked at her expectantly.

"How about this?" she asked, her voice a little higher pitched.

He shook his head. "You still sound like a man."

Ahem. "And now?"

"Now you sound like a man trying to sound like a woman."

She took a sip of water, rubbed her throat, and ahemed a little more. "This is as high as it goes." her voice was soft, but firm. It was... how else could anyone put it but a direct female version of England's male voice.

France was blushing. "You sound..." He searched for the words, "positively adorable." He smiled. Not pervertedly, but... fatherly maybe? Fuck, it took so much to make that bastard blush. Did she really sound.. cute?

The waiter returned with food, gave France his food, but looked scrutinizingly at England.

"Thank you." she said. The man put her food down, and walked away quickly, hiding a nosebleed unsuccessfully.

"You can be beautiful if you really try, Arthur."

England blushed, but began eating. France followed suit. "So" he began, making England look up. "are you a virgin?"

She sputtered the food she had just eaten into the air, blushing madly. "Well, no. But-"

"Well who was it? You're not going to hide this from the country of _l'amour_, are you?" he poured himself some wine. "I have methods of finding these things out, and you telling me is the only option that won't hurt your reputation, stature, bank account numbers,... must I really go on?"

Damn frog, why do I keep trusting you????

"It was... " she was going to play this for all it was worth, bloody fucking Goddamnit. She began blushing and hid her face in her hands. "It's not polite to ask that of a lady, Francis."

"Oh come now, he's not that bad, is he?" he raised an eyebrow suggestively. "Was he?"

He seemed to be falling for it. Blimey, he's a sucker for a pretty face....

She continued the act. "Well, would you mind guessing?"

He smiled. She was unaware that he was onto her onto him. "Okay then, do I get any hints?"

She seemed a little calmed by what she thought was his stupidity. "Yes. But only three."

"Well then, what continent was his nation located on?" he looked at England with his azure eyes.

"Europe." she replied.

"What part?" he asked.

"He's landlocked." France was getting really close...

"Was he German?"

"He's still German."

"Well, he's either Switzerland, Austria, Germany, or" he looked at her, and by her expression, he knew he had won this game. "Prussia." They sat for a moment, until France broke the silence.

"PFFFFFTT!! !" he continued laughing, seeming to forget where they were. People looked at the table and commented in French about the poor girl and rude man.

She started blushing furiously. "Francis, it's rude to laugh." she started poking at her food with a fork.

He looked up. He was crying! Bloody bastard! I'll have his head...

He tried speaking. "I-I just thi-think that it's so.. pfffttt.. " he laughed some more into his hand.

She headdesked.

* * *

**Hey, did you guys know that the latin version of the name Alfred is **_**Alfredo**_**?**

**I looked up the restaurant. It's real. I don't know if the trannie thing is real, though. Ah well****. It's probably not...**

**I know what she sounds like. It's just really hard to describe. The closest sound I could find for it was this video. Except she's adorable(er) than it.... It' REALLLLLLYYY hard to explain how she sounds... (Plus this is one of my favorite video's in the world, so my brain may have adapted the voice accordingly...) **

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=hytpd262DVY&NR=1**

**France reminds me of that one gay friend that everyone has that's like your best friend, and you confide in him and stuff. (A Poland moment...) **

**Reviews would make me so happy, and they stab writers block in the face.**

**d( ^ _^)b**

**Keep being awesome!**

**(nom-nom-noms on jellybeans)**


	8. In which Awesome and the Hero see Iggy

**Sorry for any wait! READ! I'm sorry that this one stinks... **

**( Y _Y)**

**CONFIDENCE = -50**

* * *

When she got up, she saw France looking at her, as if nothing had happened. "So, it was Gilbert?" he said again. "When?"

"The Seven Years war." she said quietly. He ate some more of his food to hide his smile. She began to blush even more.

"Well, of course I want to hear how he seduced you. So, continue." he waved his hand and waited.

She sighed. "Well...:"

_It began like any other war day. There was fighting, there was bloodshed, and there was death._

"Now really. That's depressing, Arthur. I want a love story!!!"

"Fine.... but he's an ass, so that's impossible unless you want it to be completely bullocks."

_A lone figure sat on the horizon, over the gore, and held his sword in the air. _

"Dramatic, non?"

"Goddamnit wanker. If you keep interrupting, I'm not telling the story."

"But th-"

(. \\\ ///.)

"..."

_"AWESOME WINS AGAIN!" Prussia said loudly, dismissing his troops. He turned to a younger brit, and said, "England, let's get a drink."_

_Of course, I accepted. But it was a stupid choice._

_After he got me to the bar,_

_"Ivan is scarrrryyy, England..." a drunk Prussia said, draping himself on the bar._

_England patted Prussia's head. "Don't worry, he can't reach you here."_

_Prussia waved to the barkeeper. "Anover three beers!" his German accent and slurring making his words nearly illegible. He brought them over in huge mugs. Prussia handed England a beer. "Two fur me, one fur you..." they toasted, then he chugged the first one, wiping the beer foam on his arm. _

_"Thank you." England said, taking a sip._

_"Don drink yur beer like that!!" said Prussia. "That's not how a man drinks his beer!!"_

_"This is alcohol syrup. How am I supposed to drink it?" England responded, just a wee bit drunk. _

_Prussia pointed to himself with his thumb. "Like me!"_

_"Fine then!!" England chugged the entire beer, just like Prussia did, in fifteen seconds flat._

_"Ahaha! Now yuu got it!" and as the night wore on, they sang drinking songs to their hearts content._

_Finally, they left the bar around midnight. Prussia was draped on England for support, but they were both drunk out of their minds. "Hey, England..." asked Prussia after they were halfway to the camp._

_One of his arms were draped directly on England's chest. England moved it back to his shoulder. "Wadaya want, git?"_

_Prussia moved his arm back to its previous position. "Why the hell is your chest squishy?" he stood a little straighter. England dropped Prussia onto the ground. _

_"OWCH! Damn, what was that for, England?" Prussia got up, looking annoyed. England started speed-walking away._

_Prussia grabbed his arm. "I asked you a question."_

_"Please let go of me." Prussia didn't want to, so he shook his head no. "Why?" England looked up at Prussia. The green eyes England had made Prussia melt. _

_"Because you're too cute." he was drunk, so England knew he didn't mean any of it. That didn't stop England from blushing._

_"Let go of me!" said England firmly, the nations voice turning girly. Prussia was pleased by this, so he smirked. Then he picked England up, and the nation tried to escape by punching and kicking Prussia._

_Prussia was beginning to sober up. "You're really light, you know that?" this resulted in harder kicks and punches. "And you barely eat anything at all. It's a wonder that you can manage on that!" Prussia's awesome mind was beginning to formulate a conclusion off of this. "Man, you'd think you were a girl or something~."_

_England went limp._

_"England? Buddy?" Prussia was kinda worried, so he put England down._

_England was blushing, and holding tightly onto the folds of his uniform. Then he turned and ran to the camp as soon as he was put down._

_'Wait.' thought Prussia, 'Squishy chest... girly voice... barely eats... Could England be a girl? We'll have to find out~.'_

_Prussia loved a good chase. He caught up to England in no time without even breaking a sweat. Then he grabbed the nation's chest again as he struggled. "Heyyyy... are you a girl?" _

_England stared at him with an open mouth. "How? How did you find out?" her voice was adorable now. Prussia melted. He was surprised, but still drunk enough to believe it. _

_"It's all a part of my awesome deduction skills!" he looked at England as they were almost at camp. He nudged her with his elbow." Hey, wanna say we got lost?" he said, a perverted grin on his face._

"And after that, I had to use my awesome persuasion skills to take her." He dog-whistled. "It was worth it, though. Even if she beat the living hell out of me the next morning." England looked over to see Prussia, and she began blushing.

"When did you show up?!" she saw that he had pulled up a chair, and was reaching for some of her cake.

"I came here after you did, with Alfred. Hell, I narrated a good half of the story." he raised an eyebrow. "You didn't notice? France texted me to-"

France shook his head to Prussia, but England didn't notice because she looked down. "No.. wait, ALFRED'S HERE??"

Prussia leaned back. "Yeah, but I never thought I'd see you in a dress." he took her hand and kissed it. "It looks pretty damn appetizing."

She hit him on the head with as much force as she could muster, which in turn made him pass out.

"Francis!!" she whisper-yelled. "Alfred's here!!" she was looking around furiously,

France was pleased by this reaction. He was also pleased by how she was reacting at the news of America being here. England could see it in his eyes....

"Gilbert!! Where are you!!"

As soon as she heard that voice, her face lit up.

As soon as she saw him coming her way, she smiled.

"Francis, who's this?"

As soon as she remembered he didn't know who she was in this state, she was slightly depressed.

He gave her a winning smile. "You're pretty!" he hooked his arm around her. "Hey, Francis, can I have her?"

She looked away.

France was playing along. "Ahaha! Only if she says you can!" he turned to her. "Well?"

Her heart was saying 'SAY YES, PRAT!', and she managed to say, "Okay..."

America started blushing. Then he went to whisper in France's ear "Francis, where did you locate this find?"

France whispered back, but loud enough for England to hear. "I had to dig very, very deep for it."

England's eyebrow twitched. "Hello there. I am..." she paused.

Had she really not used her real name so long to the point where she forgot it?

"..Igiko." she finally replied. 'Ah,' thought France, 'that name does sound familiar.'

"I'm Alfred! (-Ahahaha!-) In case you don't know yet, I'm the hero! " he pulled out a burger, and began eating it.

"Those are horrible for your health, you know." England said without thinking. Then she froze. 'Oh god!' thought England, 'That would be something I would say as England!! Let's hope he's feeling dense today...'

America smiled sadly. "You remind me of someone... who I treasure very much." then the serious moment high-tailed its way out of there. "Hey, why does Prussia look dead?" America poked his head. France's waiter came back with the bill, and he briskly payed for it.

France answered. "Well, he is drunk, so he passed out. " he picked up Prussia. "I need to take him back to his hotel, so could you please take Igiko to her own?"

"Ok then!" he motioned for her to follow him. She followed him, but looked back to France for a minute. He winked. She lip spoke the words 'I will gut you like a fish, you bloody wanker!' turned, and left.

(A car ride later...)

"Come onnnnnn..." he wined after a little bit of walking. "Why does your hotel have to be so far away from a parking zone?"

England turned. "Well now, you don't have to walk me if you don't want to."

He looked at her as though she said something strange. "But I want to walk you home."

The hell?

Then he put on a horrified face. "And what if some creep showed up? Plus, a hero would do something like this out of the goodness of his heart!"

Oh... I guess so...

"This is where I get off, then." she pointed to a towering building.

"Bye!" He waved happily, though he looked a little sad. "Will I see you again?"

She smiled. "Yes. Ask Francis when you want to see me, and he'll relay the message." she turned.

"Uhh... one question before you leave." America said bashfully.

"And?" she said, trying to sound a little miffed, although she really thought that his indecisiveness is endearing.

"Are you with France? I mean, uh, Francis?"

Her laughter rang like clear bells across the empty streets. She wiped the tears from her eyes after about a minute. "No, of course not. Rather, we're just very old friends. Some might even say rivals."

England glanced over at Alfred, America, whom she could barely see in the dark. "Thank you for walking me home. Have a good night." And she left him.

* * *

**I am not yet into the seven years war in history, therefore I know nothing about it. I'm sorry for any horrible inaccuracies.**

**Squishy was a word back then, right? Nah, it's recent. I used it anyway~**

**Igiko was the official name for fem-England, and it was the best thing that came up. (Thanks to RedHatMeg) The eyebrows remain!!**

**This chapter was actually the second half of the last chapter. I cut it from that one, but I decided I didn't want to trash it, so it was edited a lot...**

**I'm working on another story!! (FINISH YOUR OTHER STORIES, STUPID WRITER!!) ((NEVAR!!)) I was going to release it yesterday, but it too needed editing. Lunar, thank you for the title! (Again~!)**

**The next pov will be Alfred's.**

**I need reviews!!**

**(b ^ _^)b**

**They keep me happy~**

**(And if you like this story, read Another Gakuen Hetalia!)**


	9. In which there are two conversations

**I lied.**

**It's France's pov.**

**I'm so mean!**

**But Alfred is there somewhere~**

**I'm sorry it's so short...**

* * *

"France!!" America practically yelled into his phone. "Where.. no how did you find someone as awesome as that?"

"Ah, so that is what you think of her, _L'Amérique_?" he snickered away from the phone with Prussia. "Could we talk more about it at tomorrow's meeting?"

"Ok! See ya then!" then he hung up.

He barely put his phone on the table before it rang again.

"Yes, l-"

"Why the fuck did you invite Alfred of all people to the restaurant?!?"

"_L'Angleterre_" said France calmly, "I know you are angry-"

E: "LIKE HELL I'M ANGRY! I'M PISSED!"

F: "Come now, you need to hear me out."

E: "NO I DO NOT!! "

F: "Yes you do. Now, you like _L'Amérique__, non_?"

E: "..."

F: "Don't lie to me, I could see it in your eyes even before you were a girl."

E: "I've always been a girl."

F: "Well, I meant before I knew."

E: "You're too damn observant. Now that you know, what are you going to do about it, wanker?"

F: "Why, I'm going to help you."

E: "...I doubt that. If anything, you'd make it worse."

F: "Well, I had a plan that would put _L'Amérique_ in the palm of your hand. But if you really don't want to know..."

E: "NO! I mean... uhm... I want to hear your plan. So I can tell you how it won't work..."

F: "Okay then, well....."

Prussia merely laughed as he could hear England's jaw drop from France's plan across the phone.

* * *

(America's pov)

When he woke up the next morning, his head was spinning. No, it wasn't a hangover. It was his thoughts.

It was... her.

'It was a good night! ' thought America to himself, smiling.

Tony walked into the room, with a questioning look on his face. "Do you wanna know how my night went, Tony?" said America excitedly. Tony sat on a beanbag located next to the bed and looked over expectantly.

"I managed to get free booze from that guy, Prussia." began America. Tony had learned over time to nod accordingly during America's rants.

"I don't know why he invited me, but we went to this really, really, really posh restaurant! And I saved a pretty girl with my awesome hero powers!"

Tony tilted his head questioningly.

"She was with France." said America matter-of-factly.

Tony nodded, this being a reasonable explanation.

America started blushing to himself."And maybe, just maybe, she could help me get over England..." Then he got up, motioning for Tony to follow, and went to the kitchen. He made breakfast as he kept talking to Tony.

"I think you remember when I told you that I liked England, right?" said America quietly.

Tony nodded. He knew it was a sensitive subject.

America smiled sadly, facing Tony. "Well, I think I've completely convinced myself that he'll never like me like that."

Tony pointed to the now burning food, trying to distract America from his thoughts. And save what was left of breakfast.

"AGH!!" he threw the fireball it to the ground, and then stomped on it repeatedly.

After the fire went out, and he saw the pile of mush that was supposed to be bacon and pancakes, it made him think back to his colonial days with England. His food was horrible. He used to be so caring, so motherly.

Motherly?

Nah, he just doted a little too much...

America looked at the food a little more, sighed, then he scooped up the entire thing and ate it.

Tony stared at this, and wondered why humans were so damn sentimental.

* * *

**I couldn't find a good ringtone for France.**

**Tony's there because he snuck into America's suitcase.**

**The meeting will continue later that day in their world. **

**The story picks up from here~**

**I'll release it later today, maybe. I'm also working on chapters for my other two stories... so.. yeah.**

**I'M SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER SUCKS!!! I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU GUYS A LOOK INSIDE AMERICA'S HEAD!!**

**But then again, I fail at writing...**

**\( TT []TT)/**

**Review, and I will be forever grateful.**


	10. In which it's day 2 of the G8 meeting

**Next chapter!**

* * *

**(Igiko's, I mean.... England's pov, because she's speaking like a guy)**

England and France were already at the meeting room long before any of the other G8 members. England brought a chess set with her for entertainment, and a book if she became too bored of France.

"Now," began France, "The first things you must do if you want this plan to work" he patted her head, "is to grow your hair out. And continue under the identity of Igiko with Alfred."

England's eyebrow twitched. "You bloody fool, that's my real name!" she turned to him, this time speaking quieter. "And you shouldn't use it so brashly. A name is a powerful thing." She began drawing the little faces of the Axis and Allies on the board, as she did every meeting.

"And why should I grow my hair out? I'll look like a frog." England said tartly.

"Because now that I, and Gilbert, know your secret, we are to drive you in the right path." He took out a rose. "The path of _l'amour_!!" a dreamy look came into his eyes. "And that is only the beginning..."

'That is a good plan he told me', she thought, hating to admit it. "But it has a high margin of error." she finally said.

"The plan? Why, of course! Life is not as fun without risks!" he sat in his designated chair for the meeting, preparing the chess set.

"Maybe not," sighed England, sitting in her own seat, "but it sure as hell is more reliable."

* * *

'EH?' whispered a quiet voice from outside.

He was baffled by what he had heard.

'I must have heard wrong...' he said quietly to himself.

"Who?" said the fluffy bear in his arms.

'I'm Canada, Kunatiro.' said the nation to his bear, who ignored him.

* * *

Everyone eventually came in, and America was the only late one.

Germany sighed. "America, please don't make such a ruckus."

The American munched on a hamburger and laughed. "Ahahahahaha!! I'm not late, you guys are just too early!" He ate it after he stopped and sat down.

During the meeting, England noticed that America stared into space a lot, and only spoke when it was his turn.

"Ve~, Doitsu!" whispered Italy to Germany. "My Italian senses are tingling!"

"...............?"

Germany stared for a moment. Then he sighed out, "Could you possibly repeat that in a language I can understand?"

"It means that America is in love! Why else would he be so quiet, Ve~?"

England was listening unintentionally. It made her blush to herself a little, and she buried her face in her arms.

"Were you getting the wrong idea, Doitsu? " said Italy, poking Germany's head.

"No.. It's just... Hey, Japan, could we switch seats?" Germany said, embarrassed by his best friend.

"Of course, Doitsu-kun." The Japanese, wanting to avoid a conflict, switched seats with Germany. But now he was sitting next to England.

"Konnichiwa, Igirisu." Japan politely greeted England. Of course, he had long since dropped the formalities. He was one of the few who knew her secret.

She smiled. "Hello Japan." He looked at her and then blushed, turning his attention to the meeting, where France was now discussing events in his country. She had to admit, he was an adorable Asian...

France looked over to England before he sat down and winked, making England twitch. 'Bloody frog.'

"Well then, it looks like today's meeting is dismissed. Only if everyone has spoken." he looked around at the table with eight people. (Well, 9 if you include Canada....) "Then please go about your business. We will be having a world meeting in six months that will be held in..." he looked at the papaer in front of him and sighed. " ugh... America."

Russia decided to speak up. "Why should I go to his country, da? Why can't we all join as one under mother Russia?"

America laughed, then pointed his thumb at himself. "Because you scare the living fuck out of nearly everybody, Russia. And because the it's the hero's turn to hold the meeting." He pulled out yet another hamburger and started eating it.

Where does he get all of those bloody hamburgers from? And where does it end up?

Wait, I don't want to know.

"KoLkOlKoLkOlKoLkOl..... But can you say that to my face, Comrade America?" Said Ivan, who pulled out his lead pipe and began floating towards America.

"Hero out~" said America, gathering his papers, and dashing away followed by Russia KoLkOl-ing. Who was in turn followed by Belarus who kept repeating "Married...married.... married...". She must have been waiting outside the doors....

"You can definitely see the family resemblance." quipped Japan.

"Indeed." said England. They laughed at this lame joke only because they were both avid believers of puns.

"Has life treated you well as of late, Igirisu?" Japan asked politely.

"Yes. But it seems that... someone found out my secret." England sweatdropped.

"EH?" said Japan, very surprised. Then he whispered back, "Are they using it as blackmail against you?" He pulled out his katana. "For if they are..."

"No, no." said England, shaking her head furiously. "In fact, he's helping me with my problems."

"Yes, I am. With my help, _L'Amérique _will be completely England's." France appeared behind Japan, startling the poor Japanese.

"I would like to hear more about this later." Said Japan. "Can you both come to my home anytime soon?"

"Yes, and I'll inform you when I have time for a visit." said England.

"And I will come when England does~" said France, going to bug Italy now that his part in the conversation was over.

Japan looked at England again."This was a wonderful chat, Igirisu." he hugged her, spoke a quiet 'sayonara', and then left with Italy and Germany.

He's come so far! He never even hugged me for a while until after he found out I was a girl...

"Well, I better make some time for the visit then." England said to herself.

* * *

**Axis Powers Hetalia episode 53 is out! That marks the third season's beginning!**

**I watched it without subs and knew what it said!!!!! **

**Yay for me~ **

**Someone did fanart! look on the bottom of my profile for it~ (THANK YOU, thecanadianconspiracy!!!) Any fanart is always welcome~**

**Okinawan puns are actually really funny. I just wanted to put that in there...**

**I fail at Japan. Any help?**

**I imagine that England and Japan get along rather well.... (I'm working on that one-shot about them for this story....)**

**Sorry if this chapter stinks.... I edited it about thirty times... (T ^T)**

**(b ^ _^)**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Remember, reviews keep my writers block away!**


	11. In which France and Iggy travel to Japan

**A fluffy chapter for all of you wonderful people who take time to review!**

**Time is fast forwarded a bit at the beginning... **

**--- words --- = Japanese spoken words that I am too lazy to actually look up**

* * *

(England's pov)

It was about a month before any of the three nations had a good week off.

By that time, England grew her hair out, ignoring the ghost of the priest that told her to cut her hair the first time around. It could now be a rat tail**(1), **if that is what that hairstyle is called nowadays.

It did, in fact, look like France's hair. But that was when it was tied back. It resembled Canada's hair slightly if she left it down, except that it was strait.

France agreed.

"You do look like me! You were not kidding, were you Igiko?" said France the day before departure. He brought another dress for her to wear, although this time it was simple, white, and down to her knees.

When she asked him about it, he merely replied, "Think of it as a surprise for Japan." England huffed. "I told you not to use that name!"

"Why?" replied France, after they got on the plane.

England sighed. "Let me try my best to explain this in a way that you will understand." She smiled sweetly.

And then pulled out a knife. "If you keep saying my fucking real name, you will really be a bloody frog."

He cowered in the nearest corner he could find. "Please do not hurt me!! I am too young and beautiful to die!!" he started crying. "And you won't even wear the pretty dress daddy brought you!!!!"

She held the knife up again, and he was silent.

She sighed, and then drank some earl grey tea she brought along especially for herself. Of course, she brought a different pack for Kiku as a gift.

For the plane ride over to Japan, she did agree to wear it as well. So long as the frog was quiet.

(she put the dress on, and they're off of the plane.)

As they walked to Japan's house, France kept unknowingly trying to get them lost. So England had to drag him by the hand to go in the right direction. That, and she knew if she let go, he would flirt with the locals.

(Keep in mind that: Her hair is now girly, she's wearing girl clothes, she is holding France's hand and she is a she.)

"---Look at that adorable couple!---"

"---Are they new around here?---"

"---Tourists, most likely.---"

'The hell? Why did people think they were together? Bloody wankers, the lot of them..' Thought England, grumpy from plane-sickness.

They finally reached Japan's house. England dragged France for the final stretch, tuckered out from the entire trip. She just wanted to rest...

**DING DONG**

France suddenly stood in front of England after ringing the bell, blocking her from the door's path.

"Ah, hello Francis-san." said Kiku after he came out. He looked around, confused. "But where is Igiko?.. I mean, Arthur, where is Arthur?"

France only smiled, and then moved out of England's way. Japan stared at the transformation. "......."

He stared. Then he began blushing furiously. And from what she could make out from his stuttering, he was trying to say hello.

"...........Kon..Konn...Konnichi...wah...."

Then he composed himself, but started blushing even worse. And bowed. "I mean to say Konnichiwa. Please excuse my behavior, it has just been... so long since I've seen you as a woman."

She started blushing. She could swear she saw France grinning like a hyena from the sidelines. "It's alright Kiku." she smiled. He blushed harder.

France interrupted, looking like he was having fun., "I believe that we are drawing a crowd, non?"

"---A lovers' quarrel?---"

"---But Kiku-san was always so quiet...---"

"---It's always the quiet ones! How many times do I have to tell you?---"

Kiku rushed them inside, hurriedly offering them tea. Then he want to reprimand his neighbors for spying.

"Well that was bullocks!" complained England, who sat on a cushion, sipping her tea.

France sat in an awkward position on his cushion, for he wasn't used to eastern traditions. And he grimaced after one sip of his tea, pouring it into the nearest plant he saw.

"So," he began. "What happened between you and Japan? Hmm?" he got really close as he said this.

England started blushing. "Please back away." she said quietly.

He moved closer, if that was possible. "Not until you tell me~..."

She sighed, giving in. "Back up, and I'll tell you the very short version."

He looked disappointed, but he knew that this was all he was getting. "It will have to do."

He repositioned himself, sitting while crossing his legs." Storytime!!" he said happily.

She shook her head. "You don't get the long version this time." then she took the last sip of her tea. "This time you only ask me the the basics of what you would like to know about what our relationship once was."

France pretended to think for a moment. "Well then, my first question would be: how far did Japan get?"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" came as a strangled cry from Japan, who was returning. Then he passed out.

England sighed."Now look what you've done. He's feinted because of you." she pulled a blanket from its folded position in a corner and covered him with it. Then she put his head in her lap.

France only watched. He saw how England looked at Japan, how he acted around her. That's all he needed. He was, after all, the country of l'amour.

"Fourth base." he said loudly, and saw the Asian turn a shade of crimson previously unknown to mankind. England turned that very red as well.

She placed his head softly on the cushion she was sitting on, and proceeded to beat the living fuck out of France.

Japan continued to blush.

* * *

**(1) Rat tale: A tuft of hair capable of being a very tiny ponytail. France uses this hairstyle all the time.**

**I just felt like writing this. **

**The next chapter will be out today. Except that one will actually have nutritional value for the story!**

**In the next chapter, it will be okatu time. (That's right~)**

**I WANNA SEE THE FREAKING HETALIA MOVIE!!! D: **

**Does anyone know anything about it?**

**d( * ---*d)**

**Reviews would make your tired Authoress continue to update. I swear I'm working on all of my stories...**


	12. In which a date is set

**WARNING: OKATU JAPAN!/OVERPROTECTIVE JAPAN!**

**May get a little oc-ish**

**He's nerdy to the extreme, and whiter than sour cream!**

**I'll try my best to write him!**

**I don't own Hetalia. And you better be grateful for it~**

* * *

"Onto business." Started Kiku.

"Yes, I brought you this gift of tea. For having us over." she held out the package, handing France a quick glare.

"Thank you, Igiko. I'll drink it later." he took the tea and smiled.

"Wait, why can he say your real name and I can't?" Francis whined.

She blushed. "Why the hell do you think!?" she snapped angrily at Francis, who flinched.

"The situation?..." asked Japan.

'I almost forgot why we came here!', thought Igiko.

Francis began. "I recently discovered that England is, in fact, a woman. And I will leave out the... little details." he winked.

England punched him.

"And now he also realized that I like America." she started blushing. "That's the jist of it..."

**DON'T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT! DON'T WANT A NATION UNDER THE NEW MANIA!**

"Ah! It seems that L'Amérique is calling."

**AND CAN YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF HYSTERIA? THE SUBLIMINAL MIND FU-**

"Bonjour, L'Amérique! Why have you called today?"

_Do ya remember that girl? _

"Which one? I know many women..."

_The one that's JUST YOUR FRIEND?_

"Ah, Igiko?

_Yeah! That's it!!_

England started blushing, but Japan merely observed the entire thing with a smile.

_Well I'd like to... how should I put it... _

"What did you really call for, Alfred?"

_Well.. uh... she told me to call you when I wanted to see her... and I'd like to know if she'd want to... go to the movies?_

France smirked, then looked at England. "Why, she would love to come! She cannot stop talking about you..."

You could hear America blush across the phone. England looked at the floor, hiding her blush.

_Uh.. well... Good! How about.. Friday? 7 o' clock?_

(AN: It was Monday today.) "She will be there. I'll send her over myself."

_Hahahahahahaha!! I'll be ready! _-Sounds of eating a burger-

_**-click-**_

"Can I help?" asked Japan.

France laughed. "What can YOU do?"

His look towards France was cold. "Follow me."

Japan smiled. "I foresaw that one day this would happen. And so I made a wardrobe for you building off of the original."

They were deep inside his house, if England navigated correctly.

He went in front of a door. "And over the years, I have stockpiled many things I thought you would like."

He threw open the double doors in front of him, and Japan pushed the Europeans into the room before a harsh light came from it. When it dimmed, it revealed a good large number of outfits. At least 500 outfits. He pointed at a very surprised England. "And now that you are a woman again, I shall help you and your love interest!"

He locked the door behind him, then he pulled out a camera. An evil gleam rested in the corner of his eye. "Where would you like to start?" he questioned.

She just stood there, looking at all of the outfits.

France spoke, the pile of clothes in his arms muffling his speech. "Japan! I would like it if she put these on first."

Japan looked at them for a moment. "Excellent choices, France." then he pushed England towards what looked like a changing room.

"Wait! I don't want to-" began England, who was cut off.

"Would you like to impress America?" Japan said, interrupting her.

She started blushing. "Well, I guess that I would like to."

"Then go! And tell me when you're done changing." Japan said, completely serious.

France winked. "And if you need any help whatsoever changing, onii-chan will always be waiting with open arms!"

"No thank you." she said bluntly, going to change.

* * *

Throughout the entire next three days, she tried on every outfit in that room.

Japan had collected a number of clothes she could use on an everyday basis. They were both comfortable and form fitting. This was a good thing compared to everything else. She kept most of these.

There were a variety of cosplay outfits. Scratch that, nearly half of the clothes were cosplay outfits of sorts. Sailor moon, card captor sakura, a schoolgirls uniform, if you name the series, it was there.

France lost a lot of blood that day via nosebleed.

The only things she kept of those was a few school uniforms, France stole quite a few things though...

Then there were just regular costumes, policeman, maid, and this one outfit he called 'The Brittania angel.'

France stole most of these.... but made her keep 'The Brittania angel'. Bloody wanker...

"I will not take no for an answer this time." he said, pervy gleam apparent in his eye.

She sighed. HOW DID SHE GET LOOPED INTO THIS?!

Japan took many, many pictures.

"You sealed your fate when you came to ask me for help." said Japan. "Now we must work on hairstyles. A tiny ponytail will never win over America."

He went through quite a few varieties of hairstyles, all of which France approved of, and eventually, he just put it up in buns.

"Its simpler this way." he said thoughtfully. "Or you could always leave it down..."

"I guess I'll just do that, then." said England. "I really don't want to be any more of a bother than I already am."

Japan shook his head. "You aren't a bother, Igiko."**(1)** Then his expression became somber. "There is one thing that worries me, though."

She got serious. "What is it, Kiku?"

"Now that you've decided to do all of this, are you telling the entire world?"

She was stumped for a minute.

He looked into his tea, "Or will it be kept among those who know?"

She sighed. "Well, I'll probably have to tell."

Japan looked up, surprised. France ate a mochi cake, his expression dark.

"The only reason I kept it for this long was because of my promise to Europa."

France spoke up. "You also kept it to protect your country. A woman would not have been allowed to do all of what you did throughout history."

She never thought of it that way. But then she thought on Switzerland and Russia's sisters...

France listed them. "Pirating."

Oh god! She loved being a pirate!! That would've been horrible!!

"Colonizing."

She would have never met America.

"Having more than half of the entire world under your control. The sun would have stopped shining on the British empire."

She would have never met America.

"You would have never met Ameri-"

"I know bloody well what wouldn't have happened!!" she started tearing up. "I know..."

Japan looked at France even colder than before. "The world was unforgiving of females then, but times have definitely changed." he gave her his kerchief.

She looked up. "That's true."

"How do you think L'Amérique would take the news?" France said softly.

England didn't respond.

Japan didn't like this mood. "If America truly loves Igiko, it will all work out fine." he took out his katana. "France, please stop worrying Igiko."

France put his hands up in surrender. "I am merely stating the possibilities."

Japan looked at the clock on his wall. "I think that if you would both like to make it to America in time, you should leave."

England looked up. "We've been here that long? Come on Francis, we better leave."

They packed their bags, and everything that was given to them by Kiku was packed and ready to go.

England hugged Japan before she left, "Thank you for your help, Kiku. Good day to you."

The Japanese man smiled. "It was no problem. I never mind helping you. Him, on the other hand..." He looked at France. Japan throws salt out of his doorway as he watches France leave, and prayed, "May he never return."

"I should try that sometime..." pondered England as she leaves.

* * *

**Hetalia rules.**

**I had fun writing this chapter. Except for the sad parts... **

**I'M SO SORRY IT STINKS!! I TRIED! **

**(TT _TT)**

**America is an Iggysexual. He has eyes only for Iggy. That's why he loves Fem-Iggy, even if he also loves Male-Iggy.**

**France is a horrible pervy thief!**

**(1)When I wrote the part, 'You aren't a bother, Igiko', my computer kept trying to fix it with, 'you aren't a brother, Igiko.' xD**

**Also, update madness will have to stop. I have an entire freaking report draft that needs to be 1500 words long, WITH DOCUMENTS. I only have 400 words (WITHOUT ANY DOCUMENTS).**

**(By the way, this chapter was about 1500 words....)**

**I'mhalfway done with the next chapter for everything, and I'll work on them when my brain shuts up.**

**I'm going to the beach, and then a sleepover. Have an awesome week, readers!**

**Can anyone tell me what a 'beta' is?**

**( ^ _^)/**

**Me out~**

**Review?**


	13. In which Canada and America chat

**Here's one last chapter before I go!**

**(Canada's pov, go!)**

Canada was sitting on his front porch staring at the sky. He was thinking.

'If what I heard is true, then that means that England is a woman. That partially explains why he.. she was so good at taking care of America and I, eh.'

'Continuing that thought, it means that Alfred isn't gay.'

'I wish Ukraine was here right now... ' he sighed.

Then he was startled by:

"Mattie!!!! Let's play catch!!"

America, appearing out of nowhere, was holding two baseball gloves and a baseball. He had a stupid American grin on his face.

Canada looked back at the sky."I don't really want to, Alfred. Last time we played-"

"OK!!! Now get your butt over here!!! I wanna tell you something, too!!" he had no choice. He forgot to hide after he heard America's voice, so now he must deal with the consequences. Eh...

He got up, walked over to America, and took a glove. Then he walked away about thirty feet."You'll go easy on me this time, right?"

"HUH!!!?" America yelled back. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU MATTIE!! YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP!!!!!"

"Can you hear me n- OW!!!!"Then he threw the first ball. It hit his face, right between the eyes.

"FAIL!" America said. "You're gonna have to try harder than that to beat me at catch~" he was throwing a ball up and down in the air.

Canada got up, mad. "I'll catch this one, _vous foutu âne_!! I told you not to hit-" He was hit in the face again. (You fucking ass!!)

Then in the eye.

Then in the mouth.

Then in the shoulder.

Then in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

That last one made him fall over_."__A-__Alfred, vous bâtard…__"_ (Alfred, you bastard...)

"The hero will pardon your French, now I need to tell you something!! Brother to brother!!"

Canada looked up. "What do you need, eh?"

"I found, wait for it...." (he waited) "A GIRL!!" he picked poor Canada up and span him around. "And she's awesome!!!" Canada got really dizzy....

"She's pretty, and cute, and British!!" America put Canada down.

"Is she human?" asked Canada.

"Pfft. Hells yeah. She's like a human version of Arthur!!"

Canada knew where this was going... "Are you sure you're not just using her to replace England?"

America only stared. "England isn't a girl. How could she replace him?"

Canada sighed. "You know how your states were made, right? Just a fling here or there with a human?"

Alfred shook his head yes. "That's how your states were made too, right?"

Canada sighed at his brother's stupidity. "They're providences, eh."

"Whatever." said America, patting Canada on the head. "Anyway, I have a date with her. What should I wear?"

"Alfred?" asked Canada. "Am I the right person to ask?"

"Of course!! You're my little bro, so that means anything's possible!!"

"When is it, Alfred?" asked Canada, thinking of what could make America look good.

"Tonight. At seven." he said carelessly.

Canada looked at his watch. "ALFRED?? IT'S ALREADY HALF PAST NOON!!"

America nodded, not stressed at all. "Yeah. That's why I need your help. It needs to be casual, but not too casual."

Canada started steering his brother towards his home. "I have a pile of clean clothes for you, and I know what would be perfect."

* * *

"Thanks, Mattie!" America yelled. He was just glad that Canada had forgotten about the baseball 'incidents'.

He was dressed in a pair of jeans, a white tee shirt with the word 'Hero!' on it, and his bomber jacket with a big 50 on it. He readjusted his glasses slightly.

"I better go now, my date's in an two hours~" he said happily.

"EHH? It's that late??" said Canada. "Go!!"

America pulled out a hamburger, and left via car.

Canada watched his brother leave, and then remembered that he forgot to tell him about England. "Oh well..."

* * *

England was ready.

She was in France's private plane, and about to be shipped across the Atlantic.

"You look fine, Arthur." said France, taking a sip of wine.

She was wearing a light green camisole, with skinny blue jeans. She had a green hoodie on as well. (In case it got cold...) She had her hair down, and no makeup on.

"Are you sure?" she said, looking in the mirror.

"Yes. You are beautiful, as always." She blushed at the compliment. "But are you ready?"

"I'm as ready I'll ever be, git."

* * *

**Yes, Alfred's outfit is that one on his character CD. Just for mental image purposes....**

**Yes, the beginning is a slight parody of episode 53. Sue me~**

**(NOT REALLY!! I'm just a poor authoress..)**

**Anyway, now I have an awesome new beta!! Her penname is AmberxLion26. She helped me make a bunch of stuff on "Another Gakuen Hetalia" and with this story.**

**After this, I truly can't update. I have a PACKED weekend. Then school. And that report NEEDS to be done by Monday, or Ms. Smart will flay me alive..**

**Next time is the date~**

**(**_**b**_** ^ -^)**_**b**_

**Review, please.**


	14. ATTENTION! ANNOUNCEMENT! READ NOW! xD

**Dear Awesome reader person, place, or thing:**

**This is not a joke, merely an announcement.**

**I wish to tell you all that I have made a story for the Anglo-Japanese alliance. **

**I posted it on this story to tell all of you people on story alert and whatnot.**

**I'm working on the next chapter of this, I swear. **

**I'll make an especially long chapter for all of my awesome, beautiful, patient readers.**

**Stay Awesome~**

**-A Bleach-Drinking Hetalian**

**PS: I'd like to thank my awesome beta, AmberxLion26 for everything!! And you guys, too!**

**(b TT ^TT)b**

**You guys and your awesome reviews, keep me awesome, so here's a memorial:**

**AmberxLion26, LunarEclipse896, Plate Captain, beatles-revelution1204, TheCanadianConspiracy, Allied Forces, Tiamatwizard, SolieHime, hzenthlayfox, Ashurri1443, SeychellesxFrance, xWeaselxWolfx, Nezumi Neko, B O S T O N Tea Party, RedHatMeg, Llamas Myspace and Spam, cranberrieraven, HaniChanTwili, xxbochixx, and Mattie Williams.**

**That's for everyone with an account that ever reviewed. It's in no particular order, for you are all awesome for even reviewing. **

**Thanks to everyone else too!**

**Now read my new story, please~**


	15. In which the next chapter simply is

**My awesome beta, AmberxLion26, came up with the movie idea.**

**I'd think it'd be epic, but I'm American, so... yeah.**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

England was standing by herself on a bench. She was in a park, and waiting for America.. no, Alfred to arrive.

She saw people walking by, and it was getting dark. She started humming to herself absentmindedly to pass the time.

It's not the waiting she minded, it was the prospect that he forgot about their date that worried her. She started thinking to herself, worrying unnecessarily . 'What if he forgot? What if he's lost? What if someone tries to mug him?!?' Then she calmed down. 'This is his backyard, how would anyone be able to harm that git. He's America, for Christ's sake!!'

She heard footsteps, and looked to see that Alfred was running to her. "HEEEEYYY!!" he yelled, waving. He stopped just before running into her. "Have you been here long?"

"No, I've only been here for.." *Looks at watch *"about ten minutes."

"Woo! That's good! I thought you were gonna leave or something." he took her up in a bear hug. "But you stayed!!"

She blushed, but tried hiding it with anger. "I came all the way to America to, leave then?? Why the bloody fuck would I do that?!!"

He put her down, and then patted her head. "No clue. Now, do you wanna know what happens in the movie?"

She sighed. She brought this headache upon herself. "Why not..."

They started walking towards the direction of the theatre, and Igiko listened to him talk. "Okay!! There are these two people. Now they fall in love. But the woman dies. I forget how. Anyway, then the man goes into a depression. Then the woman comes back as a ghost. Then a lot of mushy stuff is thrown in there and then much to the woman's despair, the man commits suicide. But he finds out that there's a different after life for people who commit suicide, so he s forever separated from his true love. The end. Now the really sad part is that the woman knows this all along and is trying to tell him, but he doesn't listen and then he lives an eternity alone. Poor him." he was silent for a minute, then continued. "There's also some action mixed in, and some evil demon ghosts were trying to keep the lovers apart the entire time."

England sighed harder. "That sounds like a very American movie..."

America laughed, then pulled out a burger. "Yeah it does!! America is the best!"

England smiled on the inside. America was worse than any child.

But that must be one of the reason's she loves him...

* * *

"Mattiew!! I have come to visit you!!" said France, holding a bouquet.

"Papa! You came!" Canada ran up, and glomped his father. "But why were you in North America?"

France sweatdropped. "I was.. dropping someone off. Yes. What did you want me here for, now?"

Canada seemed to remember that he was the one that wanted this visit. "Yes!! Come in, eh."

France came in, sat down in an armchair opposite where Canada was sitting, and waited.

"I heard you and England talking the other day, eh." he said, hugging his bear.

"Really now? About what?" said France, leaning back in his seat.

"Well, about.... England being a girl?" he said.

France's eye's went wide. "OH." he said, after a minute.

Canada looked slightly frantic as he saw France's expression. "I-I won't tell anyone, I just want to know if it's true or not..."

"Well, it is." said France bluntly.

"......" Canada stared for a minute, in shock. Then he straightened himself a bit, continuing. "How... why... what??"

France sighed. This was the reaction he expected. "Since you cannot speak coherently out of shock, I shall tell you what most I can."

Canada stopped trying to speak, and hugged his bear tighter. "Eh..."

"I cannot actually tell you the story of why she is a girl, and why she hid it."

Canada looked like he wanted to interrupt, but France silenced him by holding up his finger. "But she will be telling everyone at the meeting in America in a few months. Will that keep you silent until then at least?"

Canada nodded. Then they sat in an awkward silence for about twenty minutes. France was sitting there, sipping wine. He was waiting for Canada to let it set in.

Canada finally spoke up, though it sounded like only a whisper, feeling uncomfortable with it. "You like England, don't you?"

France had a spit take.

"Wh-why would you say that, Matt-"

"Please, anyone who even looked at how you acted around him.. her would notice it." It was times like this that he remembered Canada and America were related.

"....I know this." said France, looking into his cup of wine. "It has been this way since I knew her as a him."

Canada said, "Your confusing me slightly, eh..."

"What I mean to say is that there is another definition of love other than what people would think." He paused. "My view is different from what other's would think."

Canada waited for him to continue."Well, it seems like you want me to ask you what it is... so, what is your-"

He waved his hand, and interrupted Canada. "Well, since you are so very interested, I will have to tell you." he sighed, as if this was a burden for him.

Canada sweatdropped.

He didn't want to be rude, but his father was drunk and on a rant.

What was he going to do?

"You may think that love is that wonderful feeling you get when you touch someone...."

*Hiccup*

"Or even when you think someone is beautiful, or hot, as you north American's put it...."

*Hiccup*

" But it is really when you are seeking the highest and best for the other person, even if it means giving up your own desires."

Canada was almost touched. This was coming from his father, the ultimate pervert. Besides him being as such, he never really knew why France was called the country of love.

"Why does she like other men, though? I mean I've always been there for her.."

He still kinda doesn't though.

France ranted for most of an hour until he passed out.

* * *

(England's pov)

It was midway through the movie, and she didn't think she could handle an more of it.

The movie itself was hard to describe. The best way to... explain it would be to say that is definitely American.

Yes, that.

She shivered, as another horrible, mushy line was said.

"Igiko, are you cold?" she looked to her side and saw that Alfred was worried about her.

She blushed, thankful that it was dark. "No, I'm perfectly fine."

He shook his head. "No, you're cold."

"I said I'm fine, git!!" she practically yelled. People looked their way with angry stares.

Something warm was plopped on her. "No, have my jacket." he said.

She put the jacket on. She could still feel the residue his warmth. "Thank you, then..." she held it close to her face. 'It smells like him, too...'

(Movie ends)

England was sitting in horror. 'That was the true definition of a cornball movie...'

And yet, America sat, bawling his eyes out. "Th-that was such a goood movieeeee!!! I-I mean, wasn't it Igiko?"

She lied. "Yes, it was.. touching."

He kept crying. But she managed to get him to walk to the theatre's front.

"Touching enough to make you cry, I assume?" she was trying to keep up conversation.

He acted like she was blind. "I'm not crying, I have dust in my eye..."

She sighed. "Come here for a moment."

He scooched closer, sniffing. "Nn?"

She took hold of one side of his head, forced his eye to stay open, and gently blew on it.

He started blushing. "Wha----t??" he stuttered.

She stopped for a moment. "If you move, it won't work! I'm blowing the *imaginary* dust out of your eyes."

He didn't protest after that. He instead developed a very red blush that covered his entire face.

"There. Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" she let him go.

But he held on. "I know that Francis is probably going to pick you up soon." he looked serious. And she was trapped. Damn.

She must keep up appearances!! No matter how much his close face tempted her.. "Yes, and so?"

"So, could I maybe.. kiss you?" he started blushing, then turned his head away. "NEVER MIND!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!" he looked so nervous.

And he was just too cute.

She kissed him on the forehead, making him blush even more.

***MEEP MEEP!!***

Francis was here.

And Alfred was just standing there, stunned.

She handed him his jacket. "Thank you for the wonderful evening, Mr. Jones. I hope to see you again soon!"

And she ran off.

When she got in the car, France said, "What part of 'no sugar on the first date' do you not get? Now he will think you are easy..."

He was punched in the stomach, causing intense pain.

(He was completely sober and driving)

* * *

**-cries-**

**My fail story is updated at last, I'm so sorry it took so long!!**

**I try to make it good, but I want to put some angst in there...**

**ANNOUNCMENTS! **

**I made a sorta sister story to England's odd little secret, except that it has AngloJapanice story after this stories title.**

**I have a poll!!**

**From my awesome reviewers, I have seen some Kiku x Igiko fans.**

**So my poll lets you choose between :**

**Kiku x Igiko**

**France x Igiko**

**Alfred x Igiko**

**And a few more.**

**Please vote!!!**

**I NEED AT LEAST 20 VOTES BEFORE I CAN CONTINUE THE STORY!!**

**I have about 500 readers, Can just a bunch of you vote?**

**Can everyone vote?**

**That'd make me so happy.**

**Even if you don't have an account you can vote.**

**I'm not kidding about voting, ok?**

**If no one chooses, I'll choose.**

**I really want you guys to vote, WHICH IS WHY I KEEP BRINGING IT UP!!**

**And also, Review?**

**DO THESE TWO THINGS, AND YOU WILL HAVE AT LEAST ONE MORE UPDATE THIS WEEK!**

**(/ ^ -^)/**

**Thank you, stay awesome!**


	16. In which conversations are not sucessful

**Back to the regular EOLS...**

**Enjoy!!**

* * *

(A week later, France's pov)

France tried to get England to spill the beans about the date.

Quite unsuccessfully, he might add.

"Come now, nothing perverted happened?" said France teasingly, after England came over for tea. She was even in a girly outfit, making her cuter than normal, with black skinny jeans, and a white blouse.

"Not from your definition." she said, eating a cookie.

Nations loved cookies.

All nations.

All cookies.

That's how he usually managed to get England over to his house.

"My definition? Igiko, I have no idea what you're talking about~." France said happily. He was just glad that England came over. Finding out she was a woman made them a tad closer. (Not as close as he would have hoped, but still...)

She looked at him, irritated. "I don't care if you call me Arthur, or England."

She came closer to him. "DO NOT."

Closer, pointing at him. "CALL."

Closer, about an inch from his face. "ME."

"IGIKO."

He hugged her tightly. "You are too cute when you are angry, Arthur."

She struggled, "Let me go, twat!!" , then punched his gut, making him cringe.

She wiped off her shirt. "How dare you.. You need permission to hug someone, frog!"

He looked up from the ground. "Just be glad you are not wearing a skirt. Even though I am not...."

She kicked his head, and poured the rest of her tea on France.

"GYAGH!! MY FACE!!"

"Relax, my tea was cold because of you!!" She poured herself another cup, as France continued to be dramatic and roll on the ground.

* * *

(A week or so later [again], England's pov.)

There was an intense phone argument between France and England.

E: "I do have more secrets, but it's best if they remain secret."

F: "Ughhhhhh.... come now, do not be rude...."

E: "I'll tell you and the other's at the meeting. They wouldn't be happy if I told you.."

F: "They? Sounds interesting..."

E: "Ignore that last part!!! Just act like I didn't say anything!! Oh bother..."

F: "Well then.. Listen closely!!!! America wants another date with Igiko."

E: "Another date??"

England was in slight shock. she thought she embarrassed herself at the last one...

F: "Yes, he must have enjoyed your company so very much the first time~"

E: "Well, I'm not quite sure about that..."

F: "You never told me what you did..."

E: "And you'll never know, frog."

F: "Either way, I already accepted for you. He said you'll be going on a picnic."

E: "...." -blush over phone-

F: -smirk over phone-

E: "Damn..."

F: "Arthur, you shall always be a sucker for romance, will you not?"

E: "Sadly, yes. It's in my culture, and I rather enjoy it as well."

F: "It is more so in mine than in yours."

E: "We aren't going to have this argument again."

F: "No?"

E: "No. I thought you learned your lesson during the seven years war..."

F: -cringe- "I know I lost, so we will not bring up bad blood."

E: "We won't? I sure as hell would."

F: "No..._fzzzzzzzzzt..._ talk about..._fzt.._picnic!!"

E: "I can't hear you, my bloody phone is messed up."

England stared angrily at her phone. "Cut me off..." she threw it to the ground.

'Well, maybe that's best. Francis was getting rather nosey. There are some things no one needs to know until everyone is together.' England sat, thinking.

* * *

**Well, that was filler.**

**FAIL!! I'M SORRY!**

**I'm sorry, I wanted to write something with nutritional value... But mom grounded me. And I came up with this.**

**(If she asks, I'm doing a science fair project.)**

**Anywhoo, I'd like to ask some of my frequent reviewers a question:**

**Should I stretch out the story even more, or make them go to the bar after the picnic? **

**I'm thinking of going ahead with the bar after the picnic.**

**No feedback within three days will result in default to my idea!!**

**Thank you for reading!!**

**(b ^ 3^)b**

**Please stay awesome!!**

**REVIEW, PEOPLE!**


	17. In which Igiko is taken on a picnic

I'm so sorry for the time it took me to make this one!!

I don't own Hetalia.

Forgive me!! ( TT ^TT)

* * *

Alfred stood, looking at the field he reserved. It was lush, green, and had plenty of trees! Which technically stopped it from being a true field... Oh well!

"IGIKO!!! ARE YOU THERE???" America ran, with his picnic basket in hand.

She looked up, smiling. Her green eyes that were greener than green were shining. "I'm here, please don't yell." She put her book into her shoulder bag.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!! Who's yelling?" Laughed America nervously.

She stood up, and brushed herself off. "You are, git."

This gave Alfred a good chance to see what she was wearing.

A pure white sundress, with a green, elbow-sleeved shirt under it. She was wearing pants that went to her knees, which were green-black.

_I feel kinda underdressed..._

America was in a black shirt, baggy blue jeans, and his bomber jacket.

"What are you looking at, wanker?" she said, suddenly right next to him.

_KEEP YOUR COOL, ALFRED!! YOU REPRESENT THE UNITED STATES OF AWESOME!!_

"I was just enjoying the view.." he said quietly.

_That wasn't to corny, was it?_

She turned, blushing.

_Guess not..._

He shrugged. "Anywhoo, I brought food!!"

She pretended to gag. "I don't think a man would be able to cook better than I could.."

"Sure about that?" He pulled out an apple pie, a stack of sandwiches, and some potato salad. "Ruben, ham, turkey, and peanut butter and jelly are the sandwiches. Is that ok?"

She looked at the foods, drooling. Then she noticed that he noticed her, and she ahemed. "They smell wonderful."

He held out a Ruben. "Wanna try? It won't bite back, I swear."

She took it from him, blushing. She took a bit, and...

Her eyes widened. "It's really good!!"

He laughed. "I know, right? Most people would say I can't cook, but hey."

Igiko sighed. "A bachelor can cook better than I can..."

He reached back into the basket, and pulled out a grill. "I'm glad you think so!!"

"What's that?" Igiko said, munching on her sandwich.

"Well, I'd say it's a grill. I don't know what British people call it." He smiled softly. "I have a.. pen pal named Arthur from England. He calls my grill 'The root of America's bloody obesity!!'" He said the last part with a very bad British accent.

Igiko laughed.

_Just like she did when I first met her... a voice of bells..._

Then she got serious. "How did that giant grill get in there? It's as big as the basket, nearly..."

Alfred smiled. "Magic~"

Igiko gaped. "It took centuries for me to learn simple things, and you can make an infinite sack? What year was the book from? The 1100's? 1500-" she stopped, blushing. "Sorry.."

Alfred laughed, taking hamburger meat out of the basket too. "I was only joking!! You remind me so much of Arthur..." his smile was even sadder than his last one as he started up a fire in the grill.

Igiko tilted her head. "Wait, you have all these sandwiches, why make burgers?"

"I can eat quite a bit~, and I wasn't too sure if you liked burgers.." Alfred rubbed the back of his neck.

Igiko looked away. "I actually secretly love them... Hamburgers, I mean."

Alfred stared at her for a moment. Then he saw the rising blush covering her ears and neck.

_Pretty, loves burgers, AND looks like England? I think she's a keeper, Alfred!!!_

He put his face in his sleeve to protect the burgers. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"

Igiko turned, and hit him on the head. "Don't laugh!!!" Her blush took over her entire face.

He started rolling on the ground, laughing. She kicked him, and he started running down the hill.

"Wait!!" she said, following him as best she could.

He didn't even notice that he was rolling until he hit the bottom of the hill, clutching his sides from laughing.

"Hee..." he said, wiping a tear from his eye. Then he said "OOF!" She fell on top of him.

She poked at his belly. "At least you let me have a soft landing."

He smiled, looking up at her. "You're amazing."

She started blushing again. "???"

He put his arms behind his head, and looked at the brit sitting on top of his stomach. It didn't really bother him, she was light.

"I mean, you're personality is awesome. You're British. And you, Igiko, are one of the most beautiful women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing." He smiled as her face turned a shade of crimson unknown to humanity before this moment.

"Thank you." she practically whispered.

"No problem!" he sat up abruptly, and crossed his legs. She fell into his lap from all the movement.

"THE HELL??" she shouted.

He made her quiet for a moment by hugging her, practically cradling the frail girl in his arms. Then she just sat there, head pressed against his heart.

"Please let me go, Alfred." She said softly.

_AWWWWWWW!!! Who could resist someone like this!! WHY IS SHE STILL SINGLE???_

He looked down at her, and saw her looking up at him with doe like green eyes.

He pressed his lips softly to hers, and was not met with resistance, but instead a soft kiss in return. He opened one eye to see that she has hers tightly shut. He pulled away, blushing. "I'm sorry.. you were just too cute..."

"I was trying to tell you that you forgot about the burgers..." She turned away. "But I didn't hate it..."

_BURGERS!!!?? MY POOR BABIES!!_

He picked her up princess-style. "We must save them!!!!!"

And he ran all the way up the hill, making it just in time to save his burgers.

Igiko sighed. "Well, I saved them..." She looked dejectedly at her now red hands. "But at what cost?.."

Alfred blew on her hands, but she took them back, blushing.

"They're fine... My hands have handled worse than this!!" She looked at the picnic basket.

America thought. "OH YEAH!! I remembered to pack some first aid, so go ahead and use it."

She found an antiseptic spray, and didn't even use a bandage. Her hands were in even worse condition than his were!!

_Many wars have made mine as callused as they are.... well, not so many as the European nations, but still!!_

Alfred laughed triumphantly. "Then I'll make you a good burger to make up for the damage!!"

Igiko looked up. "No harm done."

America puppy-dog-eyed her. "But you'll eat one anyway, right?"

She patted his head. "I might as well, Alfred."

He fist-pumped the air. "WOO!!"

(One burger later)

"So?~" Asked Alfred wistfully, already knowing from her face that she loved it.

She blushed, looking away as she realized that she just completely devoured an entire burger. "It was one of the best things I've ever eaten that come from America..."

Alfred smiled brightly. "REALLY??? Wow!! No one's ever complemented me on my food!!" He takes the pie out of the picnic basket. "Try this, too!!" He cut her a slice, and eagerly watched as she ate it.

She tried it, and her eyes lit up. "This is good, too. I wish I could cook..."

He started cutting a slice for himself. "Nah, as long as I can cook, you don't need to learn how~"

She took the second slice out of the pan as well. "Still hungry?"

"No, it's just that... I might as well feed you, since you did make all of the food.." She put a piece of the pie on a fork. "Say ahh."

He blushed, but ate it anyways. "Thanks, I guess~" He looked at her, but she was looking away, blushing.

_One whole slice left~_

* * *

**I made the picnic. Do you guys want it to end here, or go on a bit more? **

**I can't tell if that would be stretching it out...**

**The pie part at the end.. I saw this picture a while ago, and it was differing in some ways, but it was ADORABLE!! (I can't find it again..)**

**On a different note, I've decided that I'll try my best to make at least a one-shot for every pairing out there. Genderbent, of course.**

**I'm currently working on my chapter stories, so bear with me. And I just started that Russia x Fem-Prussia one...**

**Plus whenever I think of an idea, I'm usually at school and then I completely forget about it unless I write something down to remind me of the ideas....**

**Sorry for the late update!! Forgive me, awesome readers!!**

**And please review, I do so enjoy them~**

**(/ ^ -^)/**

**Stay awesome!!**


	18. In which France has another thing coming

A/N: She's acting like a he up to the point of when I say otherwise.

* * *

England sat on her porch in a daze.

France approached her, arms spread open widely. "Bonjour, mon ami. How was the picnic?"

She stared into space, starting to blush a dark pink.

He sat down. "It went well, then?"

"Don't get any funny ideas, frog." The Brit said, turning red.

France smirked. "Well, the ideas are not funny, so much as-"

Wanting silence, England hit the idiot on his head. "I said stop it! I told you to come here today for a reason."

"Okay then, Arthur. What is the occasion?" He picked up one of the cookies, inspecting it.

She looked into her cup. "I invited you to tea.. so that you could meet my children."

France gaped. "Children? YOU have children?"

England nodded.

"Wait, YOU, England, HAVE CHILDREN?" He pointed at her, not wanting to believe it. "Of your own direct line? Not adopted?"

England took a sip of her tea, annoyance settling in. "Do you think I couldn't handle children, git?"

"And you are in perfect shape?" He was still just staring in disbelief.

"Here they are now." England muttered, pointing behind him.

France stared. "LE GASP!"

"G'day mum. Didn't know you let riffraff into your house."

"Ni hao, mother."

* * *

(When America was home...)

America entered his house. "Aggh... Tony! It's too hot in here. I told you to find someone to fix the air conditioner!"

Tony paused the videogame he was playing. The alien gave him a skeptical look, and then continued.

America waded through the mess his house had become. "Tony, remind me later to get that fixed, and hire a maid..." Tony gave him a thumbs up as a response.

He tried fanning himself with a book, but it didn't help. He tried fanning himself with a fan, but that didn't help either.

America had a sudden bout of inspiration, and a light bulb appeared on top of his head."I know! ICE CREAM!" Then he shook the bulb off. "HOT HOT HOT!" He ran to the kitchen, and took a tub of Neapolitan out of the fridge.

Yes, America ate his food straight out of the tub. (A/N: He is American...)

"I'm bored, Tony. What should I do..?" He ate his Ice cream, quietly watching Tony hog his videogames.

Tony pointed to the British flag on his wall, and then the phone.

"Call England!" He stood. "Great idea, Tony!" America rushed to his phone, quickly dialing England.

"Bloody hell, who is this?"

Yay! England was still his old self! "What's up, England?"

"Is it America?" He sounded irritated... "I told you not to prank call me anymore!"

America was going to stay optimistic because he could handle even the grumpiest of Britons! "Actually, I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out! Like drinking or something! Hahaha! "

England sighed. "I'm actually busy at the moment..."

"Who is it, Arthur?" America gasped.

"Fuck off, you wino bastard!" England yelled, causing a punching sound and then a pained shriek. "I'm sorry America, but I'm busy today..."

He preferred France's company over his? America's?

"Ahahahaha! Then I'll just call my girlfriend!"

There was a sputter from the other end of the line. "Girlfriend?"

America laughed inwardly. I have him now! This will make him hang out with me! "Yes, my hot girlfriend! Whadaya have'ta say to that? Wanna go drinking with me now?"

England sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'm really busy, America. I cannot."

America's face fell.. "Oh, so you're busy...!" He hung up, without even wanting to hear England's voice anymore...

He put on a brave face, and then grabbed his jacket and cell phone. "Tony, I'm going to England. Don't wait up for me~."

Igiko, get ready for a hero!

* * *

(Back to England~)

England sighed. "Samuel, don't be rude. And hello there, Michael. "

France gaped. "Australia and Hong Kong? Those are your children?"

The Brit nodded. "Elijah isn't here though." France gave her a blank stare. "He's New Zealand, twit. "

"Ah."

Hong Kong shifted uncomfortably, hugging his panda tighter.

Australia smirked. "That guy's gotta hold down the home front at my house," His Koala glared at France.

"It's not nice to push your responsibilities on your brother, Samuel..." England stood. "Now are my boys going to give me a hug?"

"Blimey, I was waiting for you to ask!" Australia practically tackled his mother, and she remained standing. Years of living with America, or was it just the nature of her children...? Then Hong Kong held out his arms meekly, gesturing for a hug.

"Samuel, let me go. I haven't seen Michael longer than you..." She commanded sternly. The Aussie unstuck himself, and she hugged her other child, who smiled on contact.

England... makes a good mother... Stern, but loving... and with the respect of the children... "Ah, I feel useless..." France sighed.

England retorted, "That's because you are."

"Mother, it is wonderful to see you again." Hong Kong spoke up quietly. "But is that not your phone..?"

_**BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA**_

England held the vibrating machine out, sighing. "It's America..."

_**BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA-BAKA**_

Australia fumed. "Why'd that ocker call you again?"

"Because Arthur is in l'amour with L'Amérique~" The Frenchman answered, holding up a rose. "Let us listen.."

"Bloody hell, who is this?" England rasped into the phone. She might as well act like she doesn't know...

"What's up, England?" said America joyfully.

"Is it America?" England, embarrassed, said. "I told you not to prank call me anymore!"

America sounded optimistic. "Actually, I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out! Like drinking or something! Hahaha~!"

England sighed. "I'm actually busy at the moment..."

"Who is it, Arthur?" France said, knowing full well who it was.

"Fuck off, you wino bastard!" England yelled, knocking the Frenchman roughly on the head enough for him to squeal. "I'm sorry America, but I'm busy today..."

"Ahahahaha! Then I'll just call my girlfriend!"

England sputtered. "Girlfriend?"

Australia and Hong Kong gasped, and then muttered among themselves. "Yes, my hot girlfriend! Whadaya have'ta say to that? Wanna drinking with me now?"

England sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'm really busy, America. I cannot."

She could hear America's face fall.. "Oh, so you're busy...!"

"I'm sorry-" Click.

The blonde stared a bit sadly at her phone.

Australia grabbed his mother by the shoulders. "America? You like that Yank? I'm sure there's only one America. Right, Hong Kong?" Hong Kong nodded.

She blushed, and turned away. "I really don't think it's your business.."

Australia looked at her funny. "If it's not our business.. Then we'll make it our business!" Hong Kong nodded, looking determined.

England stared at them for a minute. Then she sighed, giving in. "It seems that you won't waver."

_**Is this the real life~**_

_**Or is this just fantasy~?**_

The others looked around, wondering where the song came from. England pulled out another phone. "I have two, so America doesn't discover my identity.."

Australia winked. "I know whatcha mean, momma."

_**Caught in a landslide~**_

_**With no escape from reality~**_

"Hallo?" She answered in an alto, making both of her boys blush. "May I ask who's speaking?"

"Blimey, I'll never get used to that..." Australia mumbled, while Hong Kong rubbed his face in his panda.

_"I'mma comin to England, so let's go drinking, Igiko!"_

England was puzzled, to say the least. "Alfred, I don't drink..."

_"Come on, no one doesn't drink..."_

She looked apprehensive. "Some people don't drink."

_"Well, you look like someone who would drink."_

Her brows furrowed. "That's not very gentlemanlike thing to say, Alfred."

_"Haha! I'm sorry, Igiko..."_

She blushed. "No, it's quite alright.."

_Then I'll pick you up at eight?_

The Brit blushed harder, almost forgetting where she was, and who she was in front of. "I never said that I would go!"

_"I'll pay for everything~"_

Her resolve was falling; the Englishwoman could see his puppy dog eyes right now. "Fine..."

_"Fuck yeah~! But doncha'll call them pubs there..? Find us a good one, kay? See you then!"_

"Goodbye." She hung up the phone, blushing.

The three men just stared at her.

Not breaking the silence, the Asian held out his hand, gladly accepting the stack of bills the Australian filled it with. Hong Kong smiled, counting his money.

Australia pouted. "Crikey. I didn't expect to lose the bet.." Then he pointed at England. "Give the bloke a chance, why doncha?"

"He is right, mother." Her quieter child agreed. "Though knowing you, you would have left anyway."

France pulled out his phone. "Should I call Japan to let him know? And to ask him what you should wear?" The phone was ripped form his hand before he could even begin dialing.

Hong Kong twirled the machine in his hand. "No, I shall choose her outfit.." The Asian pulled out a camera, given to him as a gift from Japan, and smiled. "Let us begin.."

England gulped. "Bloody hell..."

* * *

**(1) = I'm sorry, Australian people. I didn't mean to make fun of you with Samuel(Australia). I just really wanted to put him in. And if you want to contribute to his sayings, that would be just wonderful. I use an Aussie to English dictionary. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE AUSTRALIAN! He'll come up again. The same for Michael(Hong Kong). If you find them offensive, I won't put them in as much..**

**I hope you all like the characters. I'm sorry, I tried to make them how I thought they would act... They haven't been featured in the manga that much... I tried my best, and that's all that counts!**

**The first ringtone was the baka part from Pub and Go. I love that song~ And the second was the beginning of bohemian rhapsody by queen. Those are the songs I was listening to when I wrote this chapter, so I gave them some commemoration.**

**I'm sorry for the late update and super long author's notes. Forgive this Hetalian, I have so much homework!**

**But thank you so much for reading.**

(/ ' w')/

**Stay awesome!**

::**EDIT::  
I should really stop goofing off and edit this entire craptastic story...  
Andyway; And aussie told me that hey, Australian's don't exactly talk like how I made him talk.. and I knew that.. but I didn't know how to make him tlak..**

**So thank you, redit, for your changes. Don't worry, I'll change ch 19, too! *glomp* :D  
**


	19. In which there is a partial bar scene

**I'm so sorry for the wait!**  
**I'm also sorry this chapter stinks so much! TT _TT**

**Please forgive me, all!**

**I don't own Hetalia! If I did, there would be a lot more Hetero genderbent couples~! But I do own my stories, and my genderbendings. If you steal, I'll hunt you down~ -holds out pipe- DA?**

* * *

England looked curiously at the choice of clothing her son chose for her. "Are you sure this doesn't look funny on me?"

"Mother, for a rush job, you look beautiful." Hong Kong clicked a few pictures.

She was dressed in a short plaid miniskirt, with black stockings that went to her knees. As for her shirt, she had a Pink Floyd tee from her punk days.

"Do I have to wear this?" She said, blushing hard at the thought of her children seeing her like this.

"Mum's a real beauty when she tries, ain't she?" He patted her hair, which was tied in a loose bun. The blonde strands were a little longer than shoulder length now, in total.

"No I'm not.." she looked at France, who answered, "You look beautiful in anything, Arthur. " Then he held out a rose and started sparkling.

"Thank you, but you have to leave before you're seen!" She panicked. You see, her and the others were outside of a fake apartment she got after she started going out with America.

Yes, Alfred was officially dating her.

"I will melt into the night.." said Hong Kong, who disappeared into the bushes.

"I'ma stay with Michael, hiding will be a piece of piss~" He too, disappeared.

France kissed England's hand. "The best of luck to you, fair lady." Then he ran into the bushes, because he heard a car pull up.

"IGIKO~! WHERE ARE YOU!" What she thought was America said.

"DON'T YELL, GIT! YOU'LL WAKE THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD!" She yelled to the direction the voice came in.

Then she was glomped. "Igiko! I missed you!"

She blushed, but hugged back. "I missed you too.." She could just hear Hong Kong clicking away with his camera...

He let go, and looked positively radiant. He was wearing a light blue button-up, with black slacks and a tie. His shirt was tucked in, and his belt buckle said "Everything's bigger in Texas". That was... disturbing. He still had that bomber jacket, though.

He held onto her hand. "Is the bar close enough to walk, or can I drive you there?"

I blushed, and shook my head. "It's close enough to walk... and it's a pub. Pubs and bars are different."

He kissed her forehead, and she blushed even worse. "We better get there before it's dark!" Then he led her off, and she could hear France holding Australia back. He never liked her dating.

(At the pub)

"What would you like, sir?" The place had a homey feel that the lighting gave to it. It wasn't too big, and she liked this place especially because they didn't allow smokers. She might be a nation, but she still only had one pair of lungs. And no, drinking was okay. She's survived this long, hasn't she?

Alfred turned to the server. "A scotch and some... what would you like, Igiko?"

I looked at the menu. "Rum. With fish and chips, please."

He smiled. "Really now... you remind me even more of him..." The man brought the drinks. They sat quietly drinking for a minute.

"How are they different?" Asked Alfred receiving an are you stupid look from England.

"No, really! I don't get it.." He looked away sheepishly, blushing.

England sighed. "On average, a pub focus more on beer and wine than liquors and cocktails. The food selections are better and the atmosphere more casual." He nodded. "An average bar will serve more mixed drinks and have a fuller stock of hard liquors. Most don't serve meals, just snacks. But it really doesn't make any difference nowadays, they are just watering holes for gatherings of one purpose or another." She looked at him. "My eyes are up here, Alfred."

He blushed. "I-I was just looking at your shirt! Yeah, that's it!"

"Sure you were, prat." she sighed, crossing her arms over her not-so-prominent chest."Hey, why didn't you order something?

He reached into his jacket, and pulled out a few round, yellow wrapper. "I brought hamburgers!"

"Why?" she slammed her fist on the table, surprising a few patrons.

"Because I think British food is kinda nasty.."

England headdesked. "Have you ever had France's food? It's even worse than mine!"** (1)**

"Pfft. More like awesome!" He started eating his hamburger, and her food finally arrived.

"Thank you sir." After he left, she shook her head sadly. "I thought I raised you better than this..."

He turned, and he looked a tad surprised. "Hmm? I wasn't listening."

She shook her head rapidly, shaking a few strands loose out of her bun. "I didn't say anything! But how about you try some of my chips?" She held one up to him.

He made a gagging sound. "No thanks, Igiko. I..." he blanked out for a minute. "Flashbacks from my last experience with British food..." He put his burger back into his jacket. "I'm not even hungry anymore.."

She ate her food in silence, pouting inwardly. Finally, they started drinking. She only ate because it's bad to drink on an empty stomach.

Not soon after her first glass, she began to feel woozy. "I don't feel so good..."

He smirked. "That's what you get for starting off with rum. Two more of your scotch, please!"

She slouched over the table. "Don't be an impudent little twat, I've been drinking for much longer than you have!" She started waving the nearly-empty rum bottle.

He took it from her, and placed it on the opposite side of the table. "I think you're even more of a lightweight than he is..." He smiled happily, staring contently at her flushed face.

"I can do anything! I'm still sober!" She waved her hands up and down. "Why would you think I'm drunk, prat? " She stood, going over to get another drink.

America laughed into his hand quietly, receiving a few odd stared from others.

Then the front door to the pub slammed open, and made both nations turn.

* * *

England rubbed her head after coming out of the haze of sleep. She looks around, too see that she's in that apartment she rented...

Wait... what?

She sat up abruptly, and a cover slipped off of her. She looked at herself, and saw that she was still fully clothed, albeit a little ruffled, and was on her bed. England sighed in relief, and then noticed that the house smelt wonderful. She sat up, drooling, and forgot completely about her headache. She wandered into the kitchen (but after a bit of tidying up), and saw Alfred in front of her stove.

He turned, giving her a heart stopping smile. "Mornin', sleepyhead! Bacon?" He held out the pan.

England nodded. She was really in no mood for games, though, and it showed through in her voice. "What exactly happened last night, Alfred?" She rubbed her head again, and heard him laugh. It made her head hurt even worse, but her heart beat on a normal pace again.

"Well, it wasn't pretty." He started.

England was ready for the worst. The last thing she remembered was... something about pubs?

"Well, after you got dead drunk, this lady and guy with fiery red hair came into the pub." He started making eggs to go along with the bacon.

England thought for a moment, realizing these people were her brother and sister. The personifications of Ireland.

"Yeah. Then they made you stand on the bar with them, and sing some sorta song called 'Titanic'?" He set up the plates of food, putting one in front of her.

She was fuming on the inside, but wore a fond grin. "Those little arses.."

He dug into his own plate of food, talking through bites. She was eating as well, but considerably slower."And then they *nomnomnom* made you really angry! You started yelling at them while *nomnomnom* they ordered another round of drinks on your tab. And almost made you *nomnomnom*-"

He stopped here and took a large slurp of a soda he made appear out of nowhere. England furrowed her brows. "Well, get on with it! What did they almost make me do?"

He shook his head. "They told me not to tell you.."

She stared at him until he went into a cold sweat. It seems it was easier to break America's will when she was a lady rather than a gentleman. "Okay, okay! They.. uh..." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Tried to get you to strip in the bar.."

Then he held up his hands to shield his face. England realized she accidentally stood, and held her fists up, scaring him. She sat back down, and tried her best to be calm. "And did I?"

He shook his head furiously. "NONONONONO! I mean why would I let them do that? I waited for them to start up another song, and then walked you home."

England relaxed a bit. "And then?"

Alfred was still as stiff as a board. "Well, you opened the apartment, ant told me to make myself at home, that you'd be back in a bit, and that dinner was in the fridge." He shrugged. "You were really drunk though, so I just passes out on the couch. I mean, I couldn't drive in my state.." He gave me the puppy dog eyes. "Are you mad?"

Ah, the couch. That explains why it was in a disarray, she thought. England smiled. "No, I'm not mad..."

He smiled back sheepishly. "Eh heh heh.. well.. you look really mad."

England's smile could have rivaled Russia's. "No, I'm not mad. I just don't get along that well with my siblings..."

America laughed, then looked at his watch. His eyes widened. "AHAHAHAHA! Well, I don't know about you, but it's getting pretty early!" He stood, putting his plate in the sink. "I'll miss my flight back to America.. " Then he walked back over to her, giving her a quick peck on the lips, which made her blush crimson. Why, she thought, did he make her feel so? He rushed out, failing to hide his own blush.

England sighed, locking up after him. "At least he was a gentleman about it... I may have taught him well after all.."

Then she remembered that the meeting was coming up fast. And she was supposed to reveal her real gender. She was having a mental argument, though, about the others. Those who she helped. Would they want her to speak for them, or would they rather keep it hidden forever?

She nodded to herself as she finished her meal, that everything would turn out as it was supposed to, and that she should take everything in stride.

* * *

**THAT STUNK. I'M SOO SORRY. I mean, I wrote the entire first half a month ago, and then I wrote the second half today! I hope this song will make you forgive me! (It made me forgive me~)**

**www(dot)youtube(dot)com(slash)watch?v=ab9C0klYilw**

**It's the Eastern European Funk! Go Lithuania! I love his song the best, because I can't find any others~! **

**(' _ _) -feels stupid-**

**(1) = Apparently, British people feel the same way about French food that French people do about England's food.**

**Here's another fun fact: In France, what English speakers know to be a French kiss is known as an English kiss there.**

**I think. **

**If you are French or English, feel free to correct me. I just talked to a few people from those places..**

**I STINK AT BAR SCENES. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LIQUOR. So, I'm sorry I took the easy way out. The bar scene itself was the reason I haven't updated in a month. If I don't want to write something, I put it off.. again and again and again.. So I hope the mindless fluff at the end made up for a lack of a (funny and complete) bar scene!**

**Sorry if she was ooc at the end, because since I started writing WAMV, I've forgotten how to write this side of Europe... **

**...I can write them fine actually, I just haven't slept in 24 hours...**

**FORGIVE ME! SUMMER IS HERE NOW. WHOOT! (Translation: I CAN UPDATE ALL OF MY STORIES LIKE MAD NOW~)**

**And please review! It'll inspire me to start the next chapters! I hope to make the big meeting next, so please, please, please show me that you guys haven't abandoned me in some way, shape, or form! By which I mean review.**

**Stay awesome!  
(/ ^ 7^)/**

**I love those of you who still love me, and you rule if you don't mind that little hiatus!**


	20. In which the meeting takes place redo

**Guess who decided to finally update a chapter fic instead of useless oneshots? e we**

**I suggest you hit the 'chapter back' button and read the note I posted. Otherwise you'll be confused~!**

* * *

**No really, go back! Dx**  
**Es importante!**  
_

* * *

Igiko approached the building. Correct; the meeting was to be held in America. They were usually held in Washington DC, seeing as that was the capital, but today, they went to Michigan instead. DC had a bad cold.. poor kid, Englans thought. His immune system was down because of the economic state of America... that git..

Igiko's hair was down, sandy blonde locks trailing over her shoulders. She was wearing an outfit of Japan's choice, of a professional-looking business suit type, of all things. It was tan in color, the skirt went two inches above her knees, and she had to wear a white blouse underneath. Japan always had the oddest choice of clothing for her.

... the adorable little okatu..

But this meeting was big. Not just the G8 were coming, but nearly every nation out there. It was the once yearly 'everyone-must-attend' meeting..

Japan came to stand beside Igiko, putting his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. "Are you sure you wish to go through with this, Igiko?"

England nodded. "I've already come this far. I might as well finish it.." She looked back at him, smiling. "Kiku, thank you. For everything you've done to help me. You're really a good friend.."

He blushed a little, but nodded. "Ah, the meeting is to start in a minute." He opened the front door, gesturing in. "Ladies first, Igiko.."

She smirked. "Age before beauty, Kiku.." The overused puns made them both laugh, but they managed to walk to the meeting room in silence. It was dark, and no one turned when the door opened, so they snuck in. France covered for them at the beginning, saying they would be late. He was currently showing a slide about the condition of the economy in his and other nations, and how its effect ran overall.

They sat beside each other, right next to France's seat. When he finished, the light was put back on, and the meeting returned to normal. Until it was England's turn to talk.

Germany stood, already wishing this meeting was over with. He had the worst feeling in his gut.. "England's turn to speak, please sta-"

The entire room looked at the person who was standing. They saw it, but couldn't believe it; A woman stood for England's say. She spoke expertly in front of the crowd, and left said people baffled. She didn't miss a beat, even after she was done speaking, when someone questioned her on who she was.

"Who am I?" The nation nodded. "I'm England."

No one said anything.

Except Prussia. Prussia was foolish-, no, awesome enough to say something. "Well, it seems to me these unawesome people don't know the situation, so maybe you should explain it, England."

England looked at the crowd. "First off, how many of you believe I'm England?"

A good half of the nations raised their hand, but America didn't.

She nodded. "Good. Now for those of you who don't believe me, a show of hands."

The other half of the room raised their hands, but America didn't.

She pointed to Germany, who raised his hand for the disbelieving portion. "Why don't you believe me?"

He looked at Italy for help, but he didn't notice. Italy was one of the ones who believed her. Then he sighed. "I don't see why cross-dressing makes you a girl.."

The crowd, which had already been mumbling among themselves, roared with opinions as well.

England sighed. "You'll have to trust my word. I'm not stripping." This is degrading, she thought. The Brit was glad no one heard her.

"Well she isn't a girl!"

"Yes she is, the proof is in the pudding."

"The awesome me was one of the first to know!"

"SHUT IT!" A frying pan connected with a crack.

"If she is, why didn't she tell us before?"

"WHY IS EVERYONE TAKING THIS SO LIGHTLY?" Everyone turned to America, who was staring straight at England. "Igiko, did Arthur set you up for some kinda joke? Or was it Francis?"

She laughed lightly, sitting in her chair, legs folded. "If you don't want to hear me out, I won't speak." But the crowd went quiet after this. The Briton took this as a sign of interest. So she stood, and explained her story from the beginning. But only the part about Europa, and even that was in minute detail. She didn't want them thinking something went on between her with France.. or Japan.. or Denmark..

After England- finally- had everyone believing her, Hong Kong and Australia banged the door open, the latter dragging the former on. Australia spoke up, grinning. "G'day, mama! Did you tell them about us yet?"

This caused more confusion, to a point of almost chaos. The nations chattered even louder, and China came out to speak to Hong Kong.

"Hong Kong, aru! I've wondered where you were!" China took Hong Kong's arm, all smiles and sunshine. "Come sit next to me, aru."

But Hong Kong didn't let himself get pulled. "I'm going to sit next to mother, _China_." And he did just that, hugging his panda. Australia did too, and his koala was glaring around the room menacingly.

"I don't get it, aru!" China grabbed his head. "Aiyah.. explain yourself, aru! Let's say you are England, so why are these your kids, aru? And who are the fathers?"

England looked at China square in the eye. "Are you sure you don't already know?"

He tilted his head in confusion. "What, aru?"

"Well, we were both drunk off our rockers.." She sighed, shaking her head shamefully.

And that caused quite the awkward silence.

China made a face that looked like he was choking.

Hong Kong only smiled, and took pictures. He mumbled something about posting them later..

"... aru?" China looked back and forth between them, and ran out of the room. "NOO! "

England looked after him, smiling. That went better than planned.., she thought smugly. Then she looked back at the crowd, who was now in a state of universal disbelief.

"Ooh!" Aussie waved his hand, getting his mum's attention. "Tell them to have a gander at my dad!" He pointed at the Germanic side of the meeting room, towards a certain Austrian nation. "He's that bloke right there, y'see?"

A few people seemed to stifle their laughter at Austria's expression, which was shock, melded with a paler-than-usual face.

England sighed at her tanned child's enthusiasm. "I'm very well sure that Austria didn't wish to be embarrassed in such a matter, love. Try to be inconspicuous in the future."

"Did you have to give him such a name that it would overshadow my very own?" Austria huffed, blush dusting his cheeks. "It was rude to do such a thing.."

"I guess you grew a pair!" Prussia laughed, pointing at Austria. "Kesesese~"

"Hardcase.." Australia muttered, sitting next to New Zealand. He rolled his eyes, inwardly glad they didn't realize he and his twin shared a father.

Well, thought England, that was anticlimactic.. Surely Austria would say more, were he not in front of such a large audience.

Sealand jumped up excitedly, shouting. "I bet I'm your child, too! Then your jerk nation will have to acknowledge me!"

England raised a large eyebrow. "If you are my son, then I'm male." He was about to say something, when she continued with a, "That is a most definite 'NO'! Now sit down, you annoying little git!"

Then she brushed herself off in an attempt to retain whatever dignity she may have left. England turned back to the room, and came to stand in front of America.

"Alfred, I'm sorry.." She started, but was cut off by America himself.

"This is a weird dream..." He didn't seem to be paying attention to her, because he was talking to himself. "The next thing that'll happen it that TONY WILL COME FLYING IN THE WINDOW WITH MY HAMBURGERS!" The American pointed at the window; his arm drooped after a minute, when he seemed to realize nothing happened.

England sighed. He was in denial. Great, she thought. Just great. "It's not a dream, Alfred.."

He looked at her again. "Well if it isn't a dream.. and England is Arthur, who is actually Igiko... Then..." America looked like he wanted to hug her. Or run away, screaming at how unfair life was. But these emotions, all at once, seemed too much for his small mind to take, and he promptly passed out.

"Hey, Alfred?" She shook his shoulder. "Alfred?" England looked at him forlornly, and then rushed out of the room.

Japan stood. "Please excuse me. I am sorry.." He grabbed the bag that was next to his chair and rushed after England, ignoring the odd looks that were given to him.

* * *

She was tearing up in the hallway. England saw Japan, and hugged him tightly. "H-he doesn't believe me.."

He patted the Briton's back, trying to be reassuring. She'd known the Asian to comfort her often, and like those many times, it worked. "Igiko, it is not that he does not believe you, he is only in denial. It will pass with time.." She sniffled again, making him try harder to cheer her up. "Remember when I found out? I feinted as well.." They chuckled at the memory, and she calmed down.

Japan looked at the bag he brought. She did not tell him why she wanted it, only that she wanted it if she left the room. "So what exactly is 'Plan b'?" England opened the bag. His eyes widened. "What is this about?"

Japan pulled out her male uniform, and a hat to match it. She took them, and went into the bathroom. "You see, I figured that if he did not believe me.."

A bit of rustling..

"Then I would make things go back to normal.." A bit more rustling, then silence and grunts. "And I would get the other nations to keep quiet about it.. even those unknown in my situation..." She stopped abruptly, but came back with a tartly spoken, "Kiku, I hate woman's clothing!"

He was blushing. This isn't proper, he thought. "Igiko, are you ok?"

She slammed the door open. England was in her old Britons uniform, her hair up in the hat, and a pout so England on her face that she looked like a man again. She looked like England, the Gentlemen, representative of the United Kingdom. And it helped that she was speaking as she would were she he again, voice dropping octaves with use. "Bugger off, I can handle it myself.." Then she seemed to catch that she was irritated. "No, I'm sorry for snapping."

But when she kept switching from her male to female voice like this, Japan's little heart couldn't take it, and his nose leaked red in a continuous stream. "K-kawaii.."

She pulled out her handkerchief. "Are you okay?"

He took it, but his blush never ceased. "Ah, no, But I will be fine, we have to get you back to the room before America wakes.." But she didn't take that for an answer, and helped him until his suit was clean. It was pretty tough considering it was white.

* * *

Halfway to the meeting room, England remembered something important. "Damn.. I forgot to bandage up.." She held her arms across her chest.

Japan cocked his head to the side. "I do not see why you would need them, if you pardon my saying so.."

She blushed. "I always do it anyway. Even though I'm flatter then a board."

Japan stopped walking. "Would you like to go back? It would not be any trouble." He turned a little, but she stopped him, and nudged him forward a notch.

"No, we're already halfway there, I'm not going to put this off any longer, because it would be by far more embarrassing." Japan giggled inwardly at the pout on her face, because he knew she wouldn't want him laughing out loud.

They remained silent until they got to the room again. England walked in, and all eyes turned to her. Speaking as a man, she said, "What the bloody hell are you all looking at? Go on, start up the meeting without me."

They didn't even try to understand anymore, but decided it was best to try her suggestion.

Prussia patted her back, laughing quietly. "Lucky for you you're so cute either way, Igiko~"

She ignored this, and poked America in the head. "Wake up, git." This didn't work. She puffed her cheeks up. Then she wacked him on the head. "I said wake up, you bloody yank! How many times do I have to repeat myself?" Her voice rose from the hushed whisper it was before, and prying ears listened in.

Lucky for our little Kiku, he was recording this. It was just so cute in his dark eyes~

The American sat up after she stopped hitting him. He blinked a few times, after looking at England. He surprised the Brit with a giant hug. "Iggy's normal again!"

She blushed furiously. "Let me go, wanker!"

He did, but just barely, and stood up. "Iggy, I had a dream you were a girl, and you yelled at me, and they were your kids!" He pointed at Australia and Hong Kong, loud as ever. "And I figured that I should cut down on the hamburgers, because it was messed up, man.. Yeah, and if Iggy was a girl, he'd have tit's wouldn't he?"

England sighed. "You don't always have to believe what you see, Alfred-"

She didn't finish that sentence, because America was groping her chest.

America was groping her chest?

She blushed even harder than before, and punched America full frontal in his perverted face. This knocked his glasses off, and he staggered against the wall. "YOU-! YOU LITTLE GIT! HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU!" She didn't notice she was speaking as a girl again. "YOU SHOULD LEARN BETTER MANNERS, LAD, BEFORE I BEAT THEM INTO YOU."

The Briton was about to hit him again, but France decided it was best that he step in before things got nasty. He took her balled up fist in his hand, slowly smoothing the fingers out as he spoke. "Ah, _l'Angleterre_, its best not to be controlled by your emotions~"

She stared at him, before yanking her hand back. Then England sighed, anger temporarily forgotten. "You're one to talk, frog. Nation of love, my arse.." She strode out the door. "And I'm not coming back this time, goddamnit.. take your chivalry and shove it in a few choice places.."

France shook his head when looking at America, before leaving after England. "And you are the luckiest of the fools,_ L'Amérique..._" He said, mostly to himself. A flustered Japan kept staring at the door, then back to the room. Wanting to leave, but feeling it was rude to do so.

America fell to the ground, blushing crimson. "So it wasn't a dream?..." He held up his hands. "Which means I just..? Shit. Oh shit. Fuckfuckfuck..." America managed to crawl to his seat, muttering under his breath about how stupid he was.

Germany gave the room a once over. The German threw the papers he was holding behind him, and sat back down. "This meeting is over, due to the host nation having a mental breakdown. Along with myself. Have a wonderful day.." He slammed his head on the table, nearly drawing blood. Even Italy couldn't bring either blonde from their recluse mental states.

* * *

America, after everyone left, was deep in thought.

_I didn't mean to grope her, I thought it was a him! _

_But... _

_I knew he was a she deep down, ever since that first night I saw her with Francis... I can't lie t myself there. _

_But she's your brother-.. sister! You can't feel that way about someone that's related to you!_

Then a smile overcame his features, a wonderful thought processing in his mind.

_But she's not related to me, is she?_

On this note, he locked up the meeting room, and tried to track the Briton with his 'sources'.

Oh yes, he was in a much better mood then before~

* * *

**I own no piece of Hetalia, only my own dear little Igiko~! Who doesn't look like her official Nyotalian by far, but an awesome completely fem-Iggy with her long hair down and stuff~! -imagines, smiling fondly-**  
** (But on the inside, I seep in my hate of some of the official Nyotalians. My Iggy's way better! And I hate all of their names! CANADA ISN'T MEG. -thinks about Family Guy-)**

** Anyway, please forgive my brash actions. I'll try to update in a weeks time or so.**

**I prolly shoulda beta'd this.. |3  
**

**Thank you for reading~! **

**-dithers around, extremely nervous-  
**

**Ah.. Stay awesome! **

**6(/ = 7=)/  
**


	21. In which Iggy catches a thinking fever

**That's right people, another update! :3  
(I'm trying to re-capture the style I used in this fic before... ES DIFICIL...)  
**

**Hetalia wasn't invented by mua. If it was, THOSE DAMNED GENDERBENDINGS HE MADE WOULDN'T SUCK A**. THEY WOULD BE AWESOME. (Prussian awesome! xD)  
**

**Onto the chapter~**

* * *

The Briton sat, lost in thought, while Japan drove her to the airport holding his personal airplane. Why can't he accept her, she thought. Does she have to be either or before he decides? Did she not give him ample opportunity to say something, to make a move of any sort? The arse..

Thought such as these flew through her mind, even throughout the flight.

Japan waited for her to voice her worries; he noticed the apparent worry on her face early on, but still felt it rude to pry. No, he thought, shaking it off. It would be ruder of him to not listen while his friend stewed in possible self-doubt. "Igiko.."

The Briton, who'd spend her contemplating peeking out of the window, turned towards him, face flushed. "Yes?"

"I.." He took a deep breath, forcing his blush to a small wisp of pink, continuing. "If you need someone to talk to, you must know that you have me." Japan crossed over, wanted to help his dear friend. "I will not judge you, nor belittle your thoughts... And should you even need somewhere to stay, to feel at home, my doors are always open. You will always be welcome there."

"I know, Kiku.." England stood, wobbling. She accidentally flopped onto Japan, still flushed. "I don't feel all too chipper.."

The Japanese man held England, pressing his forehead to hers. He jolted at the shock. "You.. Igiko, you are burning up!"

Her green eyes were half-lidded, and she clung to him, her breath heavy. "I believe.. I may have caught a thinking fever, Kiku.."

Japan held her, watching her fall asleep in his arms. He carried her to two seats, laying her out. Though she was dressed like a man, she was still beautiful..

He shook such thoughts off, deeming himself rude. She was taken, Japan thought, with a hint of sadness. But if he made her happy.. well, her happiness was his happiness.

The Asian laid his suit's jacket over her, hoping she'd be okay..

* * *

America hopped into his SUV, pulling out his cell phone. There's only one person, besides Japan, who would know where Iggy was, he thought, after he'd typed in a number.

_"Bonjour?" _

"Yo, Frenchie! Why'd ya leave so quickly?" He asked, "I wanted to have a little chat.."

_"Ah, but you see, I have too many things on my plate to dilly-dally with the likes of you."_

"Then I'll just ask you straight-up." The American's voice turned serious . (Since that's what people did in those movies! He'd be like them! SWEET~) "Igiko; Where is she?"

A pause.

"_Straight to the point? My dear _L'Amérique, _I must teach you tact someday.__"_

What's tact? The American wondered if it was some kinda food...

America shook his head. This was no time for his ADD!

"Whatever. Anyway, yeah.. Iggy?"

"_I do not wish to say. Your rejection hurt dear Igiko so.."_ He sighed.

Huh? Wh_aaaaaaaa_t?

"Rejection?"

"_Surely you knew, Alfred, that behavior such as yours can be taken as.. ah.. misleading, concerning your feelings? Igiko takes you very, very seriously.._"

He blinked. This certainly threw the American out of the loop. He only came back from la-la land after he heard a series of honks, and swerved back to his side of the road.

Wait, he thought. She couldn't possibly think that was a rejection, can she?

He didn't know he'd said it aloud, but France answered with a simple, "_Oui._"

America parked in one of his fifty house's driveway, slumping over the steering wheel.

"_Are we still alive, mon ami?_"

"Barely.. I fucked up big time, dude.." He sighed out, leaning back in his chair. "How the hell can I fix this...?"

"_Go to her_."

"Huh?"

"_Pursue your _l'amour_, with all of your vitality; put your very soul into it, and she will understand. That is the type of nation, the type of person, Igiko is_." He continued with more sissy advice, but the American wasn't listening.

"Dude.. but.. I thought-" He said, interrupting the Frenchie.

"_Do not think. __**Act**__."_

The American was about to choke out a heroic response, but the Frenchman cut him off.

"Au revoir_, my foolish friend. She resides with Japan, should you wish to see her._"

That was unexpected, he thought, stepping out of his vehicle. The golden-blonde stared at the sky, pondering why France would practically tell America to snatch her away from him.

He peered over his fence, watching Tony clean his spaceship.

Alfred's smile started small, forming into a toothy grin.

"Hey Toooony~! I gotta ask you something!" The American shouted, hopping over the fence to bug the Alien.

* * *

**Short chapter is short.  
(Looking back at my older chapters, they all seem to be rather short, though..)**

**But at this rate, if I made the chapters any longer, it would be this and the next, and the story would be done. The truth is that the original ending was short, sweet, and to the point. I'll try to stretch it out to.. I dunno.. 2 to 3 more chapters? -shrugs- One of those will be an epilogue, mind you.**

**I'd like to thank all of those lovely people who didn't abandon my story, and a special thank you for all of the reviews.**

**My goal is to make it to 250 reviews before it's over! The 250th reviewer will get a special one-shot~! **  
**(No smut.. I can't write it.. But any pairing [hopefully with one genderbent if they're boys in canon]! Please try to tell me something along the lines of what you want in the story, it might help~)**

**Stay awesome!**

**( 6 w6)7**


	22. In which we peek into an otaku's mind

**Some people asked about it.. a thinking fever is a fever you get from thinking waaaaay to hard about something, to a point where it affects your health. I've actually gotten some before..  
**

**I don't own this wonderful series, but it'd be lovely if I did, ne?**

* * *

Japan sighed, drinking his tea.

He'd taken the Englishwoman to his house so that he could care for her. Immediately, he'd made her change into pajamas of a light green color, setting her on a futon in her old room. The Asian made soups and porridge for her whenever she was hungry, along with herbal tea. It'd been nearly two days since she'd caught it, and her fever had risen in three degrees.

And currently.. it was 40 degrees Celsius.

Surely if she was a human, he thought, the consecutive fevers she caught might be a problem that could actually be treated by a normal physician. The sort normal citizens used.

He wasn't willing to call France, since that had not worked to his advantage the last time this happened..

Was it her weak economy, he thought, dismissing it since she was well off at this time. Or possibly what she said, a 'thinking fever'?

Japan nodded. Women are complicated..

But, he thought, my job is to get her feeling as well as nationly possible!

A loud rapping started at his door.

He stood, brushing himself off. "A guest..?" He muttered. The Asian peered over at the feverish nation, thinking he could leave her for just a moment.

When he arrived, he was most certainly glad he'd invested in a 'peep hole'.. Since whom he saw was the very last person he wished to allow entrance into his house. At the moment, that was.

"Hey Kiku! Lemme in!"

Japan returned to the blonde, readjusting her pillow. She opened a tired, emerald eye, setting his heart aflutter. No, he thought, I must not think this way. She is my friend. "Igiko, would you like anything?"

The Brit shook her head, a slow movement. "I'm fine, love. You've been a dear.. why not.. take a break..?" She paused, face contorting in mild pain before returning to a flustered state. "Please, go watch anime or.. something.." England trailed off, seemingly asleep.

The short man nodded. Japan returned to his sitting room, after making sure Igiko could spend time asleep in comfort, turning the volume up on his television enough to drown out the American.

* * *

_An hour later.._

* * *

The Japanese man watched, in awe, as the movie he coveted so long was in his grasp~! Fullmetal Alchemist, The Journey to Shambala! It'd been out for quite a while, but he hadn't the time to actually watch it. He'd even cosplayed as Roy Mustang to enjoy the experience completely!

However, he couldn't help but think it would be much more enjoyable without that annoying background noise...

"Are you there? Francis said you were!"

Japan flinched. Damn Frenchman..

No, he must not think like that. He will stew quietly over this at the next sight of Francis..

The American didn't relent. Finally, he paused his movie and returned to the door. "Please leave, Alfred." He asked politely.

"No! Lemme in! I'm not leaving!"

"Alfred.." The Asian's voice held a note of anger. If he didn't finish his movie soon, he'd miss Haruhi, and Igiko's dinner would be late..

"Kiku. I am staying out here til ya let me in. If it's today, tomorrow, or even in a week, I'll finish my heroic plan of visiting this house to speak to Igiko." The American was using a tone that mean he was going to harass Kiku until he was allowed passage. "And that's final."

Japan heard a thunk, obviously the annoyance was sitting on his porch.

He put an ear to the door, and heard America denying some beeping noise the ability to get unwarranted entrance in the Asian's abode.

Well, Japan thought sourly. We shall see who will wait the longest to meet their goal...

* * *

**40 degrees Celsius is exactly 104 degrees Fahrenheit.  
(I used it since that's what they use in Japan. I only know ****Fahrenheit!****)  
With a fever like that... I dunno, I'd just wanna sleep. But Iggy's a nation, she can tough it out when Al arrives. |D**

**Fullmetal Alchemist.. the movie's been out for a while, but we'll say it's new to our dearest Otaku, ok? :3  
**

**Sorry you guys got such a short chapter, but 800 or so words was the best I could manage! It was that, or make you wait longer while I put the final touches on the last chapters..  
Along with having a fever for the past week... I also kinda.. broke one of my fingers.  
(I'm sorry.. If it helps, it hurts like a *bleep-bleepity-bleep*...** ╬ಠ益ಠ**)  
**

**I'll try to update again, Wednesday, if at all possible, for the next-to-last chapter. And then Friday for the last. I'm sorry this one was anti-climatic and filler... -feels like an ass for giving you such a short chapter, but would like to point out the many short chapters this fic has-**

**Well, here's somethin else~! You guys responded to the review brib- I mean, contest! But all of your reviews inspire me to finish this story, so thank you. :3  
(Howsabout, and I highly doubt we'll get there, if we reach 300 I'll give out another~)**

**Stay awesome~! Bis bald~!  
(~ TT ****ヮ****TT)~**


	23. In which the odd couple settle things

**This woulda been out before-.. wow.. nine? Before nine, but my internet was out for the past two days or so. Florida needs to get used to the cold!  
(FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- That sounded dirty. ****Yeah, I live in Al's vital regions~! Ain't it great? **ಡuಡ**)**

**It's been so long since I wrote America, in all of his idiotic glory.. but digging down to find my inner Al was easy enough! x3**

**I'm not happy with this chappie. :D**

**I own nothing, all rights go to whomever created what.**

**Enjoy the anticlimactic suckish near-end~ =3  
**

**

* * *

**

Japan stewed over everything. The quiet that annoying American was letting out didn't do the Asian any better than when he was rambunctious.. He could practically feel the impatience emanating through the door.

The Japanese man looked at the legs folded under himself, to the blonde in the futon, and back to his lap."Igiko.." He muttered, "I wonder what you would desire in this situation?"

Said Englishwoman shifted in her sleep, smiling softly. "Alfred... you wet the bed again?" She rebuked the memory quietly, chuckling. "Naughty child.."

Japan could bear it no longer.

Who was he to keep these two apart?

The Asian sighed as he changed back to his traditional kimono from his cosplay, dreading as he opened the front door.

America sat on the steps, shaking a small, electronic device. He randomly clicked some things, and Japan winced at the fact he could hear rock booming from the tiny earpieces HE'D made. . "Are you having too much fun outside, Alfred, or do you wish to enter?"

The American looked up, face shining. "I'm in?" He jumped up, ripping the earpieces out to tuck them into his jacket. The much taller man hugged Japan tightly, then ran into his house before the island nation could think twice about his decision.

* * *

America forgot to ask where Igiko was. But it didn't matter, he thought, since he _was_ a hero!

He slammed open a paper door, smiling victoriously when he found her. America charged to the place he was almost pulled to by gravity itself, sitting criss-cross-applesauce at her immediate left. "Igiko, Igiko!" The blonde shouted, shaking her shoulders.

England was not yet used to waking in such a manner, and smacked the large hands away from her. "What in the bloody hell are you doing?" She screeched, jolting up. The Brit's shortness of breath caught up with her almost immediately, and she flopped back into her bed. "Damn.."

"I was just trying to wake you up, Iggy..." America pouted. Maybe, he considered, if I give her my puppy dog eyes, she'll forgive me..

The Brit rolled her eyes. "If you think that'll work again on me, you're wrong." But on the inside, she had a throbbing need to hug him whenever he makes that face...

But England ignored it for the moment, since she realized she was dressed only in nightclothes.. in front of _him_. She pulled the futon cover over her red face.

The damage was already done for America, and yet he managed to hide his craving to jump the sick Brit. He WAS a hero, after all! He gulped, thinking, no, knowing he could handle it! America marveled the beautifully shaded emerald eyes peeking out from behind the patterned blanket, never breaking her gaze. "Igiko, sorry to hear you're sick.. can I help any?" It'd be heroic of him, the American thought excitedly, pulling a burger from his jacket .

"That tactic didn't work the first time, and it won't the fifth." England mumbled, staring at one of the American's damnable 'hamburgers'. Bloody things aren't even made of ham, she noted, it's beef! The Brit knew about the ordeal of Hamburg being involved in this, and cursed Germany as well. Fucking Blitzkrieg!

"Did.. you think that was a rejection? Y'know, earlier?"

It came out of the blue, startling the Brit. As blunt as ever, England thought ruefully. This boy needs to learn tact, should he ever wish to survive in this world.

France, almost halfway across the world, sneezed.

"Well?" His tone wasn't impatient, but it did have a deep worry laced within it. England noticed this.. and..

..it made her happy. It really did.

"America.."

"Dude, I really need to know this-"

"Listen to me, Alfred." England interrupted.

He stopped talking, lip set in a firm line.

She let out a small breath before starting. "We've spent too much of our time fighting.."

"Iggy-"

"But I don't hate you." The Brit looked up, feverish state cutting though her emotional barrier. "I know it must have seemed that way.. after you left me.. but I never hated you. In fact.. I..." By now, her sad attempt to relay her feelings made England flushed redder then what Spain would refer to as 'Lovi's tomato face'.

But it'd be too embarrassing, she thought grimly, were I to say it outright..

"Iggy, are y'ok?" Her silence scared the American.

Oh bloody hell, England cursed inwardly, I can get it out! I'm the British empire! It'd be complete bullocks if I chickened out.. And that frog would never let me hear the end of it..

"It doesn't matter to me whether you're a dude or a chick!" He exclaimed loudly, trying to reassure her. Who knows; he might have been able to read the atmosphere by some miracle or another! "I'm an Iggysexual!"

She glared at him, and he swore that if looks could kill..

"I don't mean it like that.." He said, pulling his hand away to rub his neck, sheepish look plastered on his face. "I mean that the one person I love the most, the one person I will ALWAYS love.. is my Iggy; My Arthur; My Igiko. Y'see, it doesn't matter what you are, how you got to be that way, that useless crap that doesn't matter. Igiko; I love you, and only you!"

There was a pause.

Then America laughed, long and loud, feeling so good after getting that off of his chest.

England smiled under her cover, hiding.

The dopey, loveable git.. Igiko thought it could make one melt into a small puddle of flustered goo, as she felt like doing at the very thought of him. Especially now. "W-why are you even trying so bloody hard? You've never felt this way before.. have you?"

America gazed at England, a feeling akin to love visible in his sky-colored eyes. "Igiko, A great philosopher once said: 'It's never too late to find true love, for time ages love perfectly'." He took her hand, intertwining her fingers with his own. "I've always loved you.. and now I only feel stronger about this."

"I'll say it as many times as you wanna hear it, Iggy.."

He gazed at England lovingly, leaning over her in a kiss. It wasn't intense, or otherworldly, as she'd thought he'd try while her defenses were down. No, it was sweet, passionate, and real.. making her thing deserves an answer of some sort..

Fuck it all, she thought violently, pushing America away (against her better judgment, mind you). "I love you, even if you are a boorish Yank."

He'd catch her cold if he kept, dare she say, kissing her..

His thin eyebrows seemingly reached his hairline, before he pulled England up in a hug. "Iggy! Fuck yeah! I've been waiting for that since.. uh.. I don't even know when! Way before now!"

"Can't.. very well.. breathe.."

America paused, realizing he'd used his bone-crushing grip on a sick woman. He made a move to put her back, but she gripped his shirt tightly. "Iggy?"

"D.." She turned away, embarrassed she'd even gone so far as to ask him this.. "Don't leave.. stay with me.."

"Ok.." America happily obliged, letting her use his arm as her pillow. He stayed above the cover, tracing his fingers through her long, tangled hair.

The warmth next to her lulled the Brit into a sense of ease, letting the sick nation comfortably fall asleep.

America held her to his chest, gently, so as not to hurt her. "Always, Iggy.."

He'd never leave her again, if that's what she wanted..

He swore it on his total heroic title as the U S of A.

* * *

**I was a bit distracted this time around, so.. it sucks. I suck at romance. I suck at life. I suck in general.  
Damn you, bi-polarity.. **

**While I was touching up this chapter, mom brought this little kitten in that looked EXACTLY like Pruneko! Red eyes.. white.. BUT I CAN'T KEEP CATS. D:  
(And my Germouser look-alike died at this time last year.. ]':)**

**Still not happy with the chapter..  
...temporary heartbreak kinda kills my romantic muse..  
(I'm perfectly fine.. he can have his Texan internet girlfriend and go look adorable somewhere effing else.. Che..)**

**All that's left is the epilogue, and I won't have to write in my weird, older style anymore! |3  
And you guys won't have to keep up with the unawesomeness of my writing as a bonus! :D  
**

**Stay awesome!**

**щ(°Д °щ)  
(Fear me! I've discovered _MORE_ emocons!)**

**(PS, review number 250 was kinda.. anonymous.. so.. first review gets the prize, I guess.. Ehehehe... (;= **w**=) )  
**


	24. Epilogue: The Special Relationship

**I kinda think that the events of the rest of the story happened around.. I dunno.. 5 years ago, in 2005 or something. But in this chapter, you can count it as present day. :3  
**

**The chronology works out better in my head.. Doesn't it always? **

**I hope the ending wasn't too cheesy or anything, I pushed it off a day trying to make it sweet. Take it however you wished~!  
**

**Just.. wow. I feel great...**

**Igiko: Dear, you're going off on a tangent again.**

**Me: Oh no! I'm sorry! -bows-  
**

**America: It's cool, I do it all the time..**

**Igiko: And you should very well stop it, yank! It's rude, and-**

**America: -hugs Igiko- Comon.. don't ruin the moment..**

**Igiko: -flushes red- Git..**

**I won't bore you any further.. enjoy the epilogue of EOLS!  
**

* * *

England was closing up the first meeting they'd had in her nation since the entire.. ordeal.

It'd been quite a few years since she's revealed herself to the world as what she was. By now, most nations were taking her change in stride. It was soon apparent to them that though she was different physically, she was the same mentally.

Very much the same. It made her smirk, at the very thought of some things that were attempted by those foolhardy men..

Back to the meeting at hand. After a vivacious argument with both America and France, in which mild violence ensued, she'd calmed the frantic room down with a break. Everything had run according to schedule after that, making Germany quite happy.

But the lady wouldn't dare admit she'd been worried America hadn't returned yet.

"And with that, I believe that we've covered everything of importance." She beamed around the room, glad things had gone so well. "If no one has any further questions, I declare this meeting adj-"

"Igggyyy~!" America slammed the door open, making a hole in the wall.

"Go away!" The Briton snarled. She'd almost made it.. a perfect meeting..

"Guess what?" He didn't pause, rushing to tell her anyway. "I stuck three crayons up my nose!"

The Brit adverted her eyes before she could see her former colony with.. in that state..

Her eye twitched unnaturally. "Alfred.. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING THAT'S QUITE RIGHT IDIOTIC?"

"Because Tony dared me!" America wined, trying to defend himself. "And besides, I've gotta record of more than 7 in there before!" The American held up a box of Crayola crayons, shaking it excitedly. "Wanna see if I can beat it, like the hero I am? Or maybe I could eat the entire box, even the papery stuff on the outside.."

"YOU ARE AN IDIOT!" England snatched America's crayons away, ignoring the pout that immediately settled in. "Like hell I do, you pompous child!" She rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to force her headache away. "Why, out of all people, am I even in love with you?"

The Briton took a moment to process her words, lighting up like the fourth of July.

She froze, face heating up steadily. "I didn't just say that, did I?"

"France~! Japan~!" America said singsongingly, grinning like a hyena. "That was a thousand bucks for getting her to say it at a world meeting, right?"

The Frenchman, set barely ten feet away from them at the table, let loose a sigh. "I believe it was one hundred, _cher_.." He pulled out his wallet, tossing a wad of bills to the American.

The Brit's palm was becoming attracted to her head by a strong, gravitational force.

Japan sat even closer than that, to America's immediate left. "That was entertaining." The Asian chuckled, passing a small envelope to America.

England gritted her teeth, turning back to the room. "This. Meeting. Is. Adjourned."

America came to stand by England, counting the bills. "Oh, hey, can I say something? It's about a hero-"

England sent a glare at America. Hand shooting out to his ear, she promptly dragged him out of the room, and down the hall. "Ow ow ow! Iggy, that hurts! You're pulling my ear off! That's not nice! My money! Lemme get it!"

The room, for their credit, was taking everything in stride; this was the norm for them, after all.

"Igggyy!" America whined, arms flailing. "Lemme goooo! I just wanted to make them know you were taken! I don't want any eyetalians hittin' on what's mine! Or Germans.. or communists.. OW!"

England tugged on America's ear roughly. "No one would think of doing that, love."

Oh yes. She'd broken quite a few hearts, and bones, rejecting some of the bolder nations_. Including_ Feliciano. And they knew she wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

"Now take that damnable colored wax out of your nose, Alfred, we have dinner reservations."

The American let England readjust his tie and tux, sighing as he removed said crayons. "I'm only doing boring stuff in your home because I love my Iggy.." He huffed.

"Git.." England spat, not complaining as the American wrapped his arms around her, tugging the Briton close. "But I suppose the feeling is mutual."

They stayed like this, in the middle of the building lobby, comfortable with the way things had become. They didn't notice when Japan took a picture, or when they were given a wolf whistles. They were off in their own universe, in their Special Relationship.

And it's still going strong today.

* * *

**I feel like an unawesome weight has been lifted off my shoulders~! I could fly, if gravity wasn't there~!  
**

**The fact that people actually read this made me happy.. So thank you, to each and every person that reviewed, faved, alerted, or even just read my craptastic story...  
**

**Well, thank you, once again, for even putting up with me..  
If you want, leave me one last review. It'd make me happy. :']**

**Also, could you guys vote on my poll? I dunno who to write about after I finish what I'm already working on..  
-should update other multi chapter fics..-  
Someday I'll come back and edit this story.. or maybe not. :3  
**

**Ah! The dislaimer: I've never owned Hetalia, and I'm just fine with that. **

**( **c・ ω・**)**

**I hope ya'll stay awesome!**


End file.
